我觉得你根本不需要担心，每个孩子的性格不一样，为什么非得和别的孩子一样？如果所有孩子都一样我觉得是一件非常可怕的事情。你不是说你儿子和你老公小时候是一样的嘛，你老公现在不是很好。
有些小孩好像非常灵非常快什么事情马上就干一个新环境马上就熟悉，有些孩子像你说的一样慢热刚开始好像比较“笨”，其实这样的孩子刚开始是在观察，只有通过观察把事情和环境搞清楚以后才决定是不是参于以及如何参于。我们家两类孩子都有，说实话，我更欣赏第二类孩子。
我能理解你，因为我女儿就是这种。举个简单的例子，她上reception只和她以前nuresery的朋友玩，可人家到了新的地方早就找到新的玩伴儿了。每次她回家和我说，谁谁说了她不是我的朋友了，因为她有新朋友了。我都鼓励她去结识新朋友, half term了好像她也没找到呢。她倒是喜欢去上学，本以为孩子上学了，大人能轻松点，结果新的烦恼又来了。
我本来也不担心，但是有的小孩真的说话太不友好了。比如说我女儿要和她们班一个女孩玩，那个女孩永远的回答就这一句话，你不是我的朋友。那个女孩的妈妈见面还老和我们打招呼，虽然我装作不在乎，但是我女儿和我学的时候，我挺难过的。
让小孩从小学会handle rejection也不是件坏事。我觉得你女儿比你tough多了，虽然别人那样让她不爽，但她也没有哭也高高兴兴的去上学。
谢谢成龙大哥。最近大人特不淡定，大人先要好好修练。
楼主我觉得回国一年的时间有点长了。对孩子的英文还有夫妻感情。这里很多人都说，两夫妻分开超过3个月，没事情也会出事情！
我女儿以前在nursery，一开始很内向。不和说说话，自己在角落玩。很孤僻。我13年春节带她回国过春节，也就1.5个月。期间到处见朋友，她被很多人围着哄着，逗她玩，说话，哄得她心情天天很好！再回来英国，人也开朗了。在nursery也开始和小朋友互动了，现在出去玩，都自己主动找朋友玩。
你儿子6月的，我儿子还7月的呢……
不过这确实没法选的，到了年龄，我们这里好像是council自己来信让你去选学校报名了的。你要是说孩子不在英国，估计得详细查户口了，啥时候回来啦，回来要怎样怎样……
虽然一个学年里，最大跟最小的有差了将近一年的。但毕竟都是差不多在一年范围，而且肯定也会有在相近月份的孩子。孩子还是跟同年龄的孩子一起更容易进步。。。
我儿子好像在托儿所也是只跟几个跟他一起从小长大的小孩玩，别的都没有。他从6个月进去，相似时间进去的有两三个差不多年纪的小孩，一直一起长大，结果就变成了他都不跟别的新来的小孩玩……
我主要关心你是不是可以合理的走完程序
因为毕竟在英国到岁数不上学，是需要申请的，要向council做出合理的解释
如果key person不觉得你需要等一年，你也只能听她的
还有，就算key person支持你的决定，council也批准了
你孩子不会奇怪他的朋友都去上学了，可是他没有上学？你怎么和他解释？
回国自然更不可取，一年内语言、环境两次大的变化，小朋友适应起来更难了
再说你家孩子只是social这一部分是短板，其它方面发展的都不错，不用太纠结
I don’t actually agree with you to delay his education; definitely not sending him back to China, as he needs both you and your husband.
I was quite an autistic child when I was little. My mum forced me to play with other kids. I wouldn’t suggest you to do so, as I think it has an adverse effect on me. Some people just don’t like to be popular. There are a lot of things we can do beyond simply being popular. I grew up as who I was, with only a few good friends, a lot of friends to talk to occasionally, but with my own life (this is the most important thing to me). Popularity doesn’t equal to happiness. It all depends on what your boy likes.
I think allowing him to go to school and talk to other kids may make difference. As kids start to show their interests and talents at this stage. He would meet a lot of kids of the same interests as him. Then he would starting talking and playing with them. If you delay it, it’s probably going to be the same next year, as he won’t have met his friends then. One thing about school is that you can let him join after school club/group that he is interested in. He will meet his friends there. Although you may have to spend a lot of time to talk to him, trying to get him to think about other kids, so he will realise how great it is to talk and play with them.
Some kids know how to show off and get attention since little. Some are just watching and waiting to meet his ‘mates’. Hard to say which one is better. So I don’t think you need to worry about too much.
I wasn’t socialised. I don’t even talk to most of my classmate… obviously, I would say hi, but then that’s it…I didn’t know what to talk to them… I turned out to be quite good with research; so I finish my PhD and get a research job. I am not romantic at all; but then I got married to my ‘romantic’ husband who complains about my non-romantic life sometimes. Ironically… we were people’s nightmare when we first met, because we talked too much that our friends needed to wait for us to finish conversation…
My cousin was really popular… she was very sweet; everyone likes her (although she was my nightmare, as my mum talked about her or girls like her all the time) She struggled with her education (and in fact, she had some issues with friendship when she was in the middle school…some girl betrayed her…anyway, normal girl issues.).She found a cashier job in a bank, complaining about her workload sometimes; but she is enjoying her life and attention from her parents and having her second kid now. Why not???
I like my life style, sometime feel jealous when my cousin shows her dinner with the whole family. My cousin enjoys her life with family, and maybe jealous of me being able to do a lot of things she can’t. There is nothing wrong with both of our lives.
My point is that just leave it as it is. I am sure your boy can find his way out. Our generation has been through a lot of Chinese education and decided to not to push kids in terms of academic achievements, but instead to make them ‘happy’. But how do you know your kids’ happiness doesn’t lie on their academic achievements? I think good parenting is not about knowing what you want for your kids, is about knowing what your kids want.
小孩差几个月智力发展是有很大差别的，这已经有很多研究证明了，一般来说大部分孩子需要到13岁以后才能catch up，这样看起来月份小的孩子在考学校时候有点吃亏，但也不一定。
考公立grammar school的时候大部分学校主要考reasoning （verbal reasoning和non verbal reasoning），这个考试主要是考IQ的，为了公平对待所有月份的孩子，reasoning考试的成绩需要“standardized”，就是说给小月份的孩子加分，每3个月一个加分段，这样看起来7月份是比较好的了，在加分最多的一个加分段（6，7，8）里面比较大（当然最划算是6月份）
。不过考私校就没办法了，因为私校除了reasoning外还考Maths和English，Maths和English是不加分的。
受教了，龙哥是这方面的专家，
我们作为家长的，现在就开始为孩子备考了
每天晚饭前后，说的唾沫都干了…
以后家长搞不定的，要请家教
到时请龙哥多多指点
我女儿班上有好几个男生都是七月八月的，我看各方面都挺好的，楼主不要太担心。
每天做一点点，不多，但天天坚持，和孩子一起当游戏来做，大家都快乐，也就不用说太多。如果让孩子做学校的home work之外的东西而当妈的看电视，那不只孩子感觉unfair，我都认为unfair。
我们曾经考虑过，因为搬家换城市挑的是升小学的暑假，怕小孩适应不好。小孩是敏感型的。还是把想法和幼儿园老师交流了，老师根据情况不建议我们~她说的一点我记得很牢，她说一年太长，哪怕是小孩需要几个月时间适应，后面的几个月他会无聊的~事实证明好像是对的~当然其实没有可比性~觉得lz和幼儿园老师谈谈。从另一个角度看看自己小孩，因为有时候小孩在外面可能和在家不一样的。另外可能自己静下心来，感觉一下，排除客观因素，就是感觉一下，如果你是你孩子，会喜欢怎么样~换一下位:)
如果你家小孩只是社交方面你觉得不是很好，而其他方面都很ok的话，我觉得没有必要推迟一年的。毕竟跟成龙大哥说的一年本来小孩的性格就不是每一个都一样的。另外一年真的太长了，到时候小孩回来英文丢了，还有各种不适应对他来说更辛苦。但是你可以选择暑假阿什么的回去一，两个月看看，我觉得这样是比较不错的。
是的，甚至家长都不一定要辅导孩子，只要家长不是自己在“娱乐”而逼着孩子“工作”，小孩都会觉得好很多。我上小学时候我妈在自考，经常晚上张罗我们吃了饭就出去上课，在家的时候也老在看书。我爸在自学英语，老是抱着英文字典试图看英文小说。他们从没督促我做功课，但现在想想，在这种家庭环境里，我会觉得吃完饭去看书是最自然不过的事情了。
我家都是我闭关修炼，爸妈看电视。。。。。然后我趴门缝偷听电视。。。。:’(
看你这篇英文就知道你的academic achievements一定很棒了！谢谢你写的这些！我非常赞同你说的不要强迫内向的孩子去跟一大群孩子玩，我曾经努力这样尝试过让他去跟孩子群玩，但一直失败，后来看了很多育儿的书，慢慢的放下了对我儿子社交方面的各种焦虑，学着接受他as he is，然后我发现他慢慢的开始和孩子玩了，尤其和熟悉的孩子，慢慢知道做游戏合作了，他也在发展，只是在这方面比外向的孩子慢一步罢了。
考虑晚一年读书，不是因为焦虑他的社会性落后，而是想着是否值得等待一年，让他发育的更完善一点接受能力再强一点再进入那种纪律比较强，人际关系比较重要的集体。看了这么多回复，很有感触。所以也觉得还是随遇而安，走正常路线了。
Thanks. I can’t type Chinese at work, so I have to bother you with my English. It needs improvements… I am still working on it.
Anyway, there is evidence that being older can be advantageous when it comes to schooling and socialisation in the childhood. Taking one year off can be good for your boy. But I think you may have to be 24/7 for him, in terms of constantly encouraging and thinking about how to encourage him. Such as taking him out to play groups, talking to him, finding out his interests and responses, etc.
Kids at that age either need attention or distraction. Being in the school can be a very good distraction as he is observing and playing with other kids. But if he is staying at home with you, he needs all your attention. But I would certainly suggest you do this in the country he is going to receive education. Some kids take things slowly, particularly those kids don’t appear to be very socialising. They are watching and learning. If you change the environment too quickly when he is still taking rather than showing, his learning trajectory would have a disruption. You might find years after that he doesn’t have much to say about that year (he might even have a lot of complaints about how difficult in the following year).
I am glad what I said was useful to you. Every kid is individually unique. Be careful not to compare him with other kids too much. I am sure your boy will find his way…
其实我觉得楼主的小朋友很聪明， 没有社交问题，这是内敛的性格，挺好的。
我家双宝 （虽然才10个多月）， 差的很大， 老大很外向， 和每个人都能玩，不害羞，去nursery不需适应，直接全天。是对新鲜事物很有兴趣，但是持续时间不长。
小宝比较内向，害羞，去nursery 适应了一周才慢慢好的 （那时6个半月），9个月后有分离感，现在每次进去还会不爽。对新事物都有个观察犹豫阶段，看大宝在玩，才会慢慢过去，不过一旦玩起来，他能持续半小时以上。
对孩子上学，我和孩子爸其实担心老大，因为太好动。