Is private school panacea or potpourri? 从一个男孩在学校里面被Bully的新闻想到的问题。

送孩子上私校学校成绩好自然是个原因,但很多人的理由是因为觉得私校孩子行为好,那这个想法是不是有道理?看看今天报纸上的这则新闻。

一个男孩因为受不了被学校同学的bully自杀了,这个男孩上的是13k一年学费的私校King’s School,看起来私校不是桃花园。心碎了的母亲写了一封公开信,呼吁孩子们要对其它孩子kind,在social media上对其它孩子的bully语言和行为会对接受者产生很多的影响,提醒大家在网上说什么的时候不要因为看不见对方就觉得没有关系。

网络bully是大家都应该注意的问题,不可能不让孩子接触网络,但如果有什么事情发生家长应该知道和尽快采取措施。

网络bully成人世界也很严重,看起来苹果论坛里面就有一些。真心希望大家都与人为善,观点可以不同语言可以辛辣,但希望大家对别人都没有ill intention。

A grieving mother penned a heartbreaking open letter to the bullies who drove her teenage son to suicide.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3823251/It-began-unkindness-advent-social-media-overwhelming-Mother-s-heartbreaking-letter-bullies-drove-son-kill-not-allowed-play-Call-Duty.html#ixzz4MIIG7m8l
Felix Alexander, 17, died when he stepped in front of a train near his home in Worcester on April 27, after telling his parents he was going to school. An inquest heard Felix had killed himself after suffering years of bullying. The torment started when he was just 10 years old. Classmates at the £13,000-a-year King’s School teased him because he was not allowed to play violent video game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.

He later became the victim of online trolls. One of the website’s he was targeted on was Ask.fm, which has been linked to seven teenage suicides. Felix eventually moved to Pershore High School but the bullying continued.

His devastated mother Lucy, 51, has now written to bullies, teachers and parents, describing the torment he suffered. She wrote: 'I write this letter not for sympathy, but because there are so many more children like Felix who are struggling.

'His confidence and self-esteem had been eroded over a long period of time by the bullying behaviour he experienced in secondary education.

'It began with unkindness and social isolation and over the years, with the advent of social media, it became cruel and overwhelming.

'People who had never even met Felix were abusing him. ‘He was however so badly damaged by the abuse, isolation and unkindness he had experienced, that he was unable to see just how many people truly cared for him.’ Mrs Alexander, who is also mother to daughter Charlotte, 22, and son Ben, 21, said she wanted to ‘educate the bullies’ so they can ‘see the effect they have on people’.

‘Teachers need to be aware of the dangers of bullying and I want more help to be available,’ she added. Felix was just 10 years old when he started being left out and excluded from social activities because he did not own Call of Duty, Mrs Alexander said.

She wrote: 'He was ten at the time, so why on earth would I let him play an 18-rated game that was full of violence? 'One child even called him a ‘p***y’ because he wasn’t allowed to play it. It was really silly comments like that which started the whole thing.

‘It spiralled from there and escalated into people who barely knew him joining in, and then he became Felix who everyone hated.’ By the time he was 14, her son was also being abused online.

She wrote: ‘It was initially via the website Ask.fm and then it escalated with basically every social media platform you could imagine.’ Mrs Alexander said the bullying was ‘poisonous’ and Felix ‘couldn’t see a way to be happy’.

Appealing to parents, she said: 'We don’t like to think that our children could be responsible for being cruel to another child, but I have been shocked by the “nice” kids who were responsible in part for Felix’s anguish. We don’t like to think that our children could be responsible for being cruel to another child, but I have been shocked by the ‘nice’ kids who were responsible in part for Felix’s anguish。

‘On several occasions we removed all form of social media from Felix as it was causing so much distress, but that just isolated him further.’ On the morning Felix died she and husband Ratan, 55, suspected something was wrong as he hadn’t arrived at school. She wrote: 'It wasn’t something we expected or were worried about. 'We thought we were coming to the end of the tunnel, but obviously he couldn’t see the light. My other children were devastated to lose their brother.

‘It was just horrendous.’

The family are now fundraising for the Place2be charity, which offers mental health counselling to young people. Mrs Alexander added:'What appealed to me is that they believe in early intervention, which I believe is the key to stopping bullying early.

‘I want to raise awareness because we all have a collective responsibility to prevent other young lives being lost.’
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/oct/05/felix-alexander-mother-lucy-open-letter-worcester
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/boy-dubbed-most-hated-person-8982884
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3823251/It-began-unkindness-advent-social-media-overwhelming-Mother-s-heartbreaking-letter-bullies-drove-son-kill-not-allowed-play-Call-Duty.html
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/1916122/mum-pens-heartbreaking-letter-to-bullies-who-drove-her-son-to-suicide-after-he-was-teased-for-not-being-allowed-to-play-call-of-duty/

一声叹息。
成龙大哥有没有什么高招,如果孩子被bully了,要怎样教他

那有什么高招,不过看这个例子,父母介入太晚了,早发现早换环境应该会好点。

从小练武啊

网络bully,语言上和心理上的损害,武功再高也没有地方打啊。

武功高强敲键盘就快,头脑就灵活,对方bully过来直接回击过去,过不了多久对方就去看心理医生了。

你肯定没有和老北京人吵过架 {:5_137:}

我武功不够高强,所以没敢和老北京吵过架,最多就是看看电影《老炮》……

好可怕,看来要帮助孩子拥有强大的内心和高情商啊。
内心强大可以藐视伤害,高情商至少可以让孩子不会孤立的经常被作为bully的对象啊。龙哥有没有分享的经验啊。

没有碰到过这种事情。

我想应该培养孩子独立和自信,对自己的认知不被别人的评论影响,从小就可以自己玩不依赖于别人,另外就是父母和孩子有交流和理解。

嘿 北京人吵架还就是厉害

怎么个厉害法? {:5_137:}

反正我吵架鲜有败局 科科

性格很大部分是天生的,有的孩子脆弱敏感,其实这不完全是弱点,也是一种天赋,这种性格的人通常更敏锐,更富有同情心,更关心别人. 文学家音乐家画家,甚至科学家,有很大一部分是这样的人。只是这种性格不适应现在这个社会。
高情商,懂得为人处世,内心强大,是很重要的品质, 但如今有些概念已经有点混淆了,脸皮厚,没有是非观,道德观低下,也被标签成了内心强大的优良表现。
舆论导向,社会价值观,都是由现实的胜利者书写的。人不要脸鬼都怕。

老北京人吵架咋高了,不就是你丫他丫的么,还是啊啦上海拧吵架最灵…吵一天不带动手的哈哈:lol

你丫他丫那些不是高手,北京人吵架的高手,不温不火,声音不高不带任何脏字,但句句损到骨,听起来不像吵架,听得懂的当时就暴跳如雷,听不懂的还以为对方夸自己,但过后想明白了,气的七窍冒烟。

搬家也没用了。现在网络的bully,搬到哪里去都搬不出这张网。小朋友或多或少都会遇到bully,我们小时候即使没有bully过别人或者被bully,肯定也见过bully的行为。都是这样长大的。我觉得做父母,要努力和小朋友建立比较亲密的关系,和小朋友的朋友,和他们的父母也要建立一定的联系。我小时候的邻居,男孩子就曾经经历过一段被大孩子欺负的阶段,他妈妈联合其他被欺负小朋友的家长一起去找老师,要求见家长什么的,闹很大,后来那个大孩子就被迫转学了。当然,那时候内陆城市学校还蛮单纯的。不过我觉得道理都是通用的。父母与孩子关系好,孩子才会愿意告诉我们发生了什么事情;和孩子的小朋友好才可以及时知道一些情况;和孩子的父母关系好,有事情也好商量一下,抱个团啥的,就算不出力,起码也有舆论上的助力,或者起码不坏事。这些都做到了,等有了bully,再兵来将挡水来土掩呗。

不管父母和孩子有多亲密,到一定时间孩子就不愿意share information了,特别是一些private的thought更不愿意share了。

我也听说过孩子不愿意和父母分享他的思想,特别是到了青春期,所以父母从小要多和孩子沟通,这样孩子长大了才会和父母以朋友方式交流,学校里有什么事情才会和父母说。如果父母由于孩子小时候忽略了这点,等孩子长大了就更不会和父母沟通了。

欺凌者 一生 屁屁长疮 腐烂 治不好!!!! {:5_131:}