好意思纠着人一句话不放么, 一开始我说的床位, 是指有些产经里写的开到10指了人手不够让你等一等和没开到4指被退回去的情况。科学依据是有的, 但一家人都来了, 一般也是有情况的, 折腾来折腾去也不好嘛。也许我猜得不对, 但看私立的产经, 感觉态度可能要好一点, 让你在医院等的几率可能要大一点。难道不对吗? 这在我看来就是"不需要排队"啊, 您那么紧张要做啥类? 现在我解释了, 希望不要再揪住这点不放。
再说, 谁跟你说是一指没开了就要住院, 说话不要那末极端。
我是不明白你对任性的定义, 我也没说自己有钱, 两三万英镑就有钱吗? 消费观念不一样就任性吗? 家里人也没有一个觉得这是乱花钱啊? 老公老早就说了, 要选私立, 只要能负担得起, 就要选最好的, 钱留着没用。请问这怎么就任性了? 没事儿不要搞人身攻击嘛。
其实lz除了嘴巴里说的这些，字里行间流露出来的就是，不想生孩子，但因为lg和老人都想，最后妥协了。但心里还是有气的。
比如从你前面说的乐得做甩手掌柜这些就看出来你真的是很不想要孩子但又不能不生的那种。
请问lz怀上了吗？要是还没怀上，那还是自己好好认真深入彻底的考虑清楚到底要不要生吧。这里很多人丁克一样过的很好的。
只负责生其它方面都希望甩开手感觉还不如不要生。如果出生前当妈就说本来不想生我但迫于无奈才勉强生的，想想都替这孩子可怜。
这是讨论在这里生的华人，为啥要去国内论坛上看产经，搞不懂你的逻辑。
你生了47个小时，你没条件不做月子，我也没觉着你多苦逼啊，这是你自己的选择没人干涉你啊。是你自己一直都在提坐月子不做月子什么的，如果不是心里惦念着这个，干嘛对别人做了月子的这么耿耿于怀啊
人家愿意花钱剖腹，缩短产程，减小不确定性，产后坐月子好好恢复，又动你了哪根神经了？真是莫名奇妙，难道你受的的苦让别人也受一遍你心里就平衡了，高兴了？
你自己说的提前一个月来伦敦啊。像楼主这样前怕狼后怕虎的，真心别折腾了，否则生了后也是麻烦，还要请高端奶妈月嫂啥的。还不如在家让老公给自己讲大灰狼的故事， 多好！。哈哈
的确是lz自己的选择， 有能力私利也很好。 只是我听说的bad experience大部分都是伦敦的， 因为伦敦的医院比较忙，限制比较多。
lz在曼城的话， 南部公立就是stepping hill. central就是st mary（妇幼）。 我在st mary生的， tour的时候介绍过， 如果要单间， 加上家属陪护的， 可以有专门的95一晚上的单间。 我生的时候从头到尾都是单间， epidural也很顺利的上了。 st mary设施超级好， 很新， 人手也很多。
南部的cheadle royal 好像是私立医院， 不过具体是哪方面我就不知道了
ps lz似乎没说怀孕了没有？ 话说备孕的过程可以很漫长的。
看清楚我说的是"是不是要提前一个月去伦敦?"。我是在真心求教啊, 之前没考虑过到这么远的地方去生孩子, 觉得不太可行, 所以就问问。。。不知道为什么引来一顿讽刺。。。
请高薪保姆怎么了, 国内的同学都是5000到8000一个月请着, 也有抱怨她们一个月工资都拿来请保姆也剩不了多少的。 你是不是也要劝她们辞掉工作回归家庭呢?
谢谢这位妈妈的耐心回复, 我去了解一下。
正在备孕, 但是不急, 顺其自然。
倒不是说私立公立哪个好坏的问题 私立肯定优于公立
就是英国私立比公立好的那一些部分 和 贵出的很多钱的 比较的话 不是非常对等 说白了性价比的问题吧
如果你不在乎钱 只选贵的 那就无所谓啦
我看了lz 选择私立无非就两大point 一个是怕开了开指不够公立不收 有危险 二是不能随意选择刨妇产
说实话在国内一线或者二线省会大医院 三甲医院 专业妇产医院 统统都能做到这些 说白了你为了纠缠这两点花个所谓的2-3万镑不如回国生算了（当然除非你不差钱， 不然当我白说）
国内各种检查可比这里详细了 12周之前 各种孕酮保胎 38周之后 各种b超 你想咋查咋查 单人间花钱照样有 私立的条件更好 钱花的可比这里私立少了去
如果真的要钱花的所值 我觉得还不如国内的一些私立 还有月子中心 你在伦敦花的2-3万镑 可以找到国内很不错明星都会去的月子会所了 就是普通10w人民币的月子会所也比花在英国的私立值得 各种产后月子餐 英国哪里有？ 产妇也轻松 家里老人也轻松
对的， 顺其自然最好， 不要这么早给自己压力。
说得有道理, 回国我也在考虑, 但想来想去可能还是不太可行。
一是什么时候回去的问题。二是什么时候回来的问题。
三是不想和老公分开的问题。
尤其是第三点, 我们圣诞放假10天, 都不愿意分头去看自己爸妈(两地), 还要一起走跑两边。不可能分开那么久。
我尊重您的育儿观, 但不认为说父母的角色不能互换, 做母亲就一定要这样那样的。
这个世界上真正可怜的孩子很多咱们暂且不说。
很多中国的父母那么爱孩子, 孩子未必就幸福。
不是所有的人, 天生就有母性; 甚至有些生了孩子以后, 也不能完全做好角色转变。但在家人的帮助下, 她们的努力下, 她们的孩子未必就不好。有的人性格就是这样, 既然决定办一件事就不会办得差到哪里去, 跟她的初衷关系不大。
至少我还自诩是个理性的人, 尊重他人的想法, 尊重他的独立性,不会把孩子当作自己的附属物。至于他将来怎样, 我只是个观察者, 引导者。也许不会那么亲近, 但至少会聆听会欣赏。
其实我从小到大, 都想有这样一位母亲。
也许你说的那种气, 是源自我对我母亲的那种不值, 不平的感觉。一方面觉得她的付出和牺牲太无谓, 很多时候我不需要还被压得喘不过气来, 另一方面也是愧疚, 自除了顺着她的意思无以回报。。。我不想我的孩子像我一样, 不想让她有任何天生的债务。
Can’t write Chinese now.
I can see why some moms are shocked by what they can feel behind my words and I welcome such comments such as having a good think about whether to have kids but implying that my future child will suffer is a bit insulting - you don’t know me well enough to say that.
To be honest my husband and I had lots of conversations about starting a family but we have always agreed that the principle is not to neglect ourselves and not to focus too much attention on the kid. It sounds counter-intuitive but we believe a kid can only be happy in a happy family and he/she will learn and progress faster if he has parents that are devoted to their lives and not just to him. My kid will certainly be happier to know that his/her mom chose whatever way that she felt most comfortable to give birth and she had a good experience and not that she sacrificed her comfort/choice so that he/she (the child) would have a slightly better chance of not catching some disease which is very unlikely in the 1st place. At least if I were the kid, I’d much rather be in the first situration and I’d be happier. If I were the kid, I’d rather my mom was able go about her own life (if she wanted to) without being tied up to me for months, worrying about lack of milk or whatever silly concerns over my health. I’d want her to be more than just my nanny. If she’s a girl, I’d teach her to trust her own feelings/decisions and take resposibility for them.
In the old days many kids grow up with their loving grandparrents and they turn out to be fine. My parents have learned many lessons while raising the most difficult kid they could have - me, and while they can’t change their way towards me I can see that their actual thoughts are now much in line with mine. I trust them.
They will be slightly detatched (cus it’s not their own kid) and that detatchment and the knowledge that they werent succeful parents will help them to raise the kid with reason - my dad is the most reasonable man in the world until he starts talking to/about me. Likewise my lack of maternal instinct (and I’ve always been honest about it) will help me step back and realise my own faults and perhaps help keep a better watch over the kid. Often with cats and dogs, husband tends to to spoil them so they go to him for food but curl up/play with me instead.
Often it’s not how much you love them that matters but that you do love them a little for who they are.
The decision to have kids is mine and mine alone. But such decisions are very much influenced by the trust in myself, my husband, my parents and his parents. And I’m quite confident that my child will be well-provided and well-cared for. It might not be the very best we could try (like my parents did and lost themselves) but it will be OK and for the best.
有些圣母的点评, 就懒得回复了。
What I find strange is that you ask something and people are so quick to pass judgements. I don’t know about other people but I often find those to be not-so-good parents, as they don’t listen, don’t have the slightest notion that they might be wrong and don’t even pretend to be nice. In other words, they lack patience and appreciation for a complete separate individual’s different viewpoint and that individual could just be their kid.
My mom loves me so much that she could die for me a thousand times. But she never knew me as a person and she refuses to. And guess what, I craved for love and understanding when I grew up, something I didn’t feel that I was getting from my parrents. I thought they loved someone else. I also grew up doing everything I could so that I would not fall into the same trap/become the same type of women.
But even then for most of the time I did not regret having been born into this world (and I suspect most people don’t). So I find the suggestion that such and such people should not have kids is quite absurd especially if they’re reasonably well-educated individuals coming from not-so-bad families. The decision should be theirs and not for other people to judge. I, for sure, would not have the slightest concern if my mom didn’t want me whole-heartedly in the first place, as long as she likes the product now. I’d actually be very suspicious if she said she loved me before she even met me for real. I do not believe that little feet kicking in the belly is true love. I do not even believe in unconditional love - it’s all but an illusion. But, hey it’s just me.
There will always be kids that are well-developed and those lacking something - the world is not fair to every single person. This does not mean that those kids should never be have been born. In fact they’re all wonderful in their own ways and their struggle (everyone strugggles) marks them with individuality. I do not think, for a moment, that a mother should be regretful if she couldn’t give her best or her child didn’t turn out perfect.
楼主洗洗歇着吧。。有这么多时间大把打英文，真不如净下心来给自己那个还没怀上的宝宝做做研究。私立也好公立也罢，顺产剖腹。只要你自己开心。别在这较劲啦。。其实结论已经做了还有什么必要上来说呢。。别人说不同意见就死气掰咧的辩解。。我看着你我都累
Can’t you see I’m actually enjoying the debate? 
- didn’t think it would be so I was simply asking a question so we would have some substance for budgeting. But thanks for your advise it’s time to call a day.
只想劝lz尽量母乳吧 为了宝宝 之后请保姆自己也尽量多陪陪孩子 其他的lz怎么舒服怎么来吧 祝lz好孕
我觉得吧。。楼主应该是高龄产妇，而且平时家境殷实，所以这么霸气外露，一副我有钱我怕谁的样子。莫不知从想怀孕到最后怀上还有很大距离，现在就想东想西，等真怀不上了估计会上来问有神马方法能无痛无副作用就能受孕，然后再无痛生产，最好把RCOG 的大牛们都请来，而且生了孩子也不用母乳神马不用受苦就能把孩子待大的方法？括弧 NHS不考虑。钱不是问题。然后再把神马顺产NHS等等那些站在对立面的东西说得一钱不值。。好啦。满足啦。其实这种斗鸡的性格不适合受孕，，真的。你去看看NICE 的 infertility guideline就明白了。
话说我觉得想剖也是楼主的自由来着，但是最好是真是需要剖才剖，因为顺产真的恢复很快，我生完了一周就恢复得七七八八了。而且顺产是生的时候疼，剖腹是生完了疼。不过无论怎样planned的c section比起紧急剖腹好，所以要是scan出来宝宝头围大直接剖就不受罪。
至于母乳还是奶粉养孩子，实不相瞒我也是倾向奶粉派的（生之前）
但是生了以后我觉得还是give it a go吧，起码心里觉得我尽力去尝试给宝宝最好的，所以就尝试了一下。8周以前的确很辛苦，一来是疼（即使宝宝含乳姿势正确也还是会疼的）然后喂得很频繁，很累人。但是宝宝渐渐大了以后会对妈妈特别的依赖，这种感觉只能意会不能言传，所以我现在觉得母乳是我做的最正确的选择，绝不后悔。
最后说一句就是楼主一定要想清楚才生，妈妈的角色是很难取代的
即使家里有家人保姆带着孩子，你的生活依然会有翻天覆地的改变，
对角色转变做好心理建设真的很重要
楼上的姐姐，你这些话之前都有人给楼主说了，楼主很一根筋哪。。唉。。这种性格，孩子即使生出来也。。此处省略几百字。。