How Important Is Kissing?
For most women very important. It is a skill you should practice as
often as possible.
A good kiss can be slow, soft, hard or even ravenous but no one
ever ran home to tell her girlfriends about the sloppy wet kiss she just got.
At least not in a good way anyway.
Explore a woman’s lips. Flick the corners softly with your tongue.
Swirl your tongue around hers. Nibble on her lips. Lightly cup the back of her neck with
your hand and press her gently into you.
Or if she is devouring you like you were dessert give
back as good as she is giving without hurting each other.
Kissing can be as erotic to a woman as having sex, even more so.
Women love intimacy and kissing can be the ultimate intimacy.
How to Arouse Her Instantly
Smooth pick up lines may have worked in 80s movies but most women today
are a bit more savvy. There are much more subtle and effective ways to turn
women on.
Eye contact is one of them.
Pay attention to what she is saying and keep
your eyes above her bust line. Breast ogling is not a turn on, unless she
has just had them done and is asking you about them.
Touch is another way to show her you are interested but it has to be the
right kind of touching.
Run your thumb in little circles over the top of her
hand or her palm. This can be highly arousing. Grabbing her ass is not.
Touch her as if she is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. Caress her with
the love that most guys give to their favorite vintage car or most dreamed of
stereo component.
Run your hands gently over her curves.
Put your passion into the kiss. Slow and seductive. Deep and hungry. The kiss can be
the date maker or breaker. Savor the taste of her. Drink her up without leaving her face
all wet and drippy.
Women want to be wooed then taken.
Sex Cues You Can Use
Some sex cues are so obvious that we forget to do them. Most of us
go out into the world and keep our eyes and head down.
We are so caught up in our own thoughts and feelings that we forget to interact with the world.
Then we wonder why we haven’t met the woman of our dreams yet.
I can’t count the number of times that I have seen a girl totally
checking a guy out and he was completely oblivious. How do
you expect her to agree to go out with you or even strike up a conversation if
you refuse to make eye contact.
So here is your excercize of the day gentlemen:
1) Keep your head up and your eyes friendly and open. Meet the gaze of women that
you find attractive.
2) Smile. It will soften your face and dispell most of your nervousness.
3) If she returns your gaze engage her in conversation,
otherwise flirt with your eyes, your smile and the subtle way you move.
You will have a much more enjoyable day and may pick up a date or two.
What is the biggest turnoff that a man can do besides sleeping with
her best friend or bodily functions in public?
Being too needy.
I have a wonderful friend. He is smart, funny and successful. He is also
the biggest clinging vine where women are concerned that I have ever seen.
Therefore he gets dumped constantly.
He thinks that he is doing everything right with the flowers, phone calls
and lavish dinners and I do recommend you do all of these, if you can. But
he commits the prime mistakes that will drive any woman away:
1) Calling too often. - Let her miss you.
2) He is suspicious of any man that even glances at her. -
This makes her feel as if he doesn’t trust her.
3) He wants to know where she is every moment of the day. -
Can you say smothered???
Gentlemen, women want to know you care and they want to be spoiled
there is no question about it BUT the most attractive man is the one
who is confident enough in himself and the relationship to have a life
outside of his woman.
Be an individual and support her as an individual and you will have a healthier
and longer lasting relationship
*** QUESTION ***
Yo -
I have been reading your newsletter and visiting your site since
I heard Tyler speak at a seminar.
I am a trial lawyer and thought I knew a lot about communication
skills. And, in most situations, I do.
But, often with women, I was all thumbs. Your stuff is awesome.
And the good news, once you are not outcome dependent, the whole
process is an absoloute blast. It totally opens up levels upon
levels of communication.
You can “play” with every woman you meet. At the laundry, at
the check-out at the zippy mart, a waitress, everywhere, any
time, it is easy now to engage any woman.
Now, on to my problem. This chick I noticed working as a barista/
sandwich maker at the local super high end bakery. The bakery
is pretty small and everybody in there is hearing every word
said, so chatting her up there is not ideal to me at all.
She was just cute as she could be. Soulful and earthy art-house
hippy chick vibe, you know? My buddy that lives in that hood
came in and I asked him what he knew about her and he said she
was an aspiring writer.
Anyway, that very night I was coming home from visiting friends
and was in a great mood.
I whipped in to an easy mart and lo and behold, there she was
in line in front of me. After she made her purchase and turned
to walk past me and leave, I struck up a conversation.
Suspisciously, I asked her if she was a writer. She told me
aspiring, and I asked her if she was any good. She said I
probably wouldn’t like it because it was non-fiction. I agreed
that I would not like it because fiction was better. I asked
her if she likes the best woman fiction writer I know, Flannery
O’Connor.
She gushed. She said there are great fiction writing women in
the south and that she didn’t know if she, would qualify as
Southern because she had spent the last few years in NYC. I
told her that if she was good we’d claim her, but that if she
sucked, we’d send her packing back to NYC.
Suffice it to say that this exchange could not have gone any
better, the vibe was perfect. I mean, I told her my first name
and she told me her first and last. The energy and chemistry and
body language was that positive.
The problem is this, I had it in my mind that no matter what, I
was absolutely going to end the transaction first. And way too
early, “I picked up my dribble”, and turned my back on her and
went to the counter for my purchase. She was talking to my back
at the end, saying, “Yeah, I think I have seen you around.”
Perfect.
Now the hard part. I still don’t have contact info and the only
place I know to see her is at the bistro where everybody is
watching. I don’t want getting her digits to be some high wire
act.
Any tips? By the way, six months ago, I would have just stood
there pining as this girl left the store with her smokes. Like
I said, this stuff totally opens up opportunity everywhere.
Thanks.
- Keith
MY REPLY:
Oh, gross, a lawyer.
It could be worse, you could be a politician. I’m seeing the
bright side of things today, so you’re in luck. 
I liked your report here. Seems like you’re getting in the right
frame of mind.
When you stop worrying about what might go wrong and just enjoy
the actual game itself, that’s when you start to blast off and
get real success.
You have to shut off that internal dialogue and just GO.
It’s like getting into a pool of cold water.
Some people will think, oh it’s gonna be so cold, and they
stick their toe in, and then slowly get their legs in, etc.
Others just say, “Screw it,” and dive right in. Sure, it’s cold
for a fraction of a second, then they get used to it and they’re
like, “See, it’s not bad at all,” and start enjoying themselves.
Meanwhile, the other guy is still sitting on the edge of the
pool, pissing and moaning about how cold it is.
The problem is, many guys are stuck in their own heads when they
approach, cycling through all these failure scenarios.
What happens next is as sad as it is predictable: they open the
chick, and she can clearly see he’s all nervous and weird, and
consequently she becomes nervous and weirded out herself.
Game over.
Remember, you want to put YOURSELF in the state you want the
chick to be in.
Women are fluid. They will adapt to whatever frame you set. So if
you go in all freaked out, the girl will be freaked out as well.
Now, your pick up was pretty tight until the end.
WHY did you feel the need to backturn her and walk off? Why?!
It was like the universe had presented you with this cosmic
opportunity, and you let it slip through your fingers!
Here’s what you could have done differently, for what it’s worth.
You could have gone for an instant venue change, aka an
“insta-date.”
Basically, after you’ve opened her up and then hooked her, you
say, “Hey, I’m going to get a quick drink around the corner,
you’re more than welcome to join me… let’s go!” and then venue
change her to a place more conducive to the pickup. After that,
it’s just a matter of running standard game.
But that’s not what happened. So we gots to work with what we
gots to work with.
The good news is you know where she works. So it’s just a matter
of going in there and pulling the trigger. But, as you are no
doubt aware, this presents its own unique challenges.
First off, since she’s at work, it’s going to be a time-
constrained situation, especially if there are other customers
waiting. So you want to make it short and to the point. Your
goal is to score the digits.
I’d roll into the place and feign surprise when I saw her, then
say something like, “Hey! Flannery O’Connor! So THIS is where
I’d seen you before… what’s up?” Then some light quick
chit chat, then I’d go straight for it: “You know what, you’re
pretty cool, we should talk more. Here, lemme give you my number,
you can call me.”
Make her take your number, then have her call it right in front
of you, because you “don’t answer numbers you don’t recognize.”
Voila. Now you got her number. No muss, no fuss.
Now, you also expressed concern about it being a “high-wire act”
with all these other people listening in.
WHO CARES?
Those people are just chodes who can only DREAM of doing what
you’re doing. IGNORE THEM.
This goes back to having a strong reality, and it’s something
I discussed in a recent newsletter. I called it having a “point
of attention,” and let’s just recap that right here.
Whenever you’re in set, you have to have a certain point on
which you focus your attention.
The most important thing to remember is that you must never
waver from your point of attention, that it must not drift
off to some area outside of the set. That means you don’t pay
attention to the other guys lingering off to the left like
vultures waiting to swoop in, you don’t pay attention to
other people making comments about the pickup, etc.
You have to ENGAGE your target with HYPER FOCUS, and ignore all
distractions.
This means not not being concerned with anything outside
of your set. It means maintaining a strong frame and a strong
reality.
I’ve heard this described as “solitude in public.”
If your attention slips, you must collect it again and
redirect it as soon as possible to one single point or object.
Remember that? Good.
Now get your ass to the bistro and get yourself some soulful and
earthy art-house hippy chick digits.
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-10-18 00:33 ]
*** QUESTION ***
RSD,
Hey. I’m starting to notice a pattern. The last couple of
girls I approached and talked with, I later found felt
“uncomfortable” when they were “around” me.
Needless to say, I’m not talking to them much. Given your vast
experience, maybe you can tell me what about guys makes girls
feel “uncomfortable” or what makes a woman feel uncomfortable
around a guy. How does this girl-code translate into
guy-language?
Thanks.
TX
MY REPLY:
Well, what we have here isn’t so much a case of “girl code,” but
rather a pretty straightforward statement. You make the chicks
feel weirded out when you interact with them. There’s your
translation.
So, why are you coming across this way, and what can you do to
stop it?
I can tell you right now: the reason they feel uncomfortable
around you is because YOU feel uncomfortable around you.
Does that make sense?
You’re not totally comfortable while you’re doing your
approach, and that translates into a generally awkward, creepy
vibe.
This is related to state control.
State control is the variable which, more than anything else,
determines the quality of your game, particularly in the face
of overwhelming social pressure. The term “state” here refers
to the way you feel both physically and mentally when presented
with a challenge.
The key lies in your perception of the scenario.
See, how you perceive things will ultimately dictate the QUALITY
of your game, and your state at any given will invariably
determine your perceptions. So… when you can control your state
you control how good your response will be.
This is what lies at the heart of the whole “inner game” issue.
It’s ironic, because by worrying about this stuff, you
practically guarantee your failure. It’s the old Pygmalion
effect.
In the Greek myth, Pygmalion was a sculptor who created a female
statue and wanted so badly for it to be real that, with the help
of Aphrodite, the statue came to life.
What psychologists now refer to as the Pygmalion Effect is
essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy. What we expect tends to
come true. Even if that expectation isn’t accurate, we will act
in ways consistent with the expected outcome, and in the process
our entire physiology and speech reflect this. People have a
tendency to respond by adjusting their behavior to match ours.
The end result is the expectation becomes true.
I see this all the time when I’m in the field with newbies.
I’ll tell them to open a set, and I can already see them cycling
through failure scenarios in their head. Then they meekly
approach the set and squeek out their opener; nine times out of
ten the target has to ask them to repeat it because it was
inaudible, then they give some noncommittal answer. These guys
will then stutter and deliver a follow-up routine, then stand
there with insecure, needy body language, waiting for the girl
to say something.
Can you guess what happens next?
They get BLOWN THE HELL OUT.
Check it. The guy is using the EXACT same material I use. The
words coming out of his mouth are exactly the same. I am not
better-looking than the newb, or better dressed.
Yet when I roll up on a similar target, I do not get asked to
repeat myself, nor do I get noncommittal answers. My follow-up
does not get me blown out, but rather gets the target BLOWING
UP GIGGLING AND SHRIEKING.
What’s the difference?
Simple. While the newb is sitting there pondering all the ways
he could possibly fail and look like a tool, I am contemplating
what sort of noises the chick will make when I’m doing her
from behind.
There are no thoughts of failure, I don’t have time for that,
and I seriously don’t even give a damn, because I’m getting laid
like a rockstar regardless.
Consciously or not, when we approach we tip people off as to
what our expectations are. We exhibit thousands of cues, some as
subtle as the tilting of heads, the raising of eye brows or the
dilation of nostrils.
Most are much more obvious. And people pick up on those cues.
So basically, your attitude determines your success in a lot of
respects. It also determines how the girls will feel around you.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
Put yourself in the state you want the girls to be in, and focus
on the present moment. BE HERE NOW.
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-10-18 00:32 ]
What women what
Missed Opportunities
Gentlemen I know that there are times when women can be a bit of a
pain in the butt.We want to go out, while you want to watch the game. We want to go shopping, while you want to work on the yard or take apart the engine of your car.
Before you snap your girlfriend’s head off though I would like to share an experience of mine with you.
A few months into one of my past relationships I decided that I was
in the mood to turn my guy on. I washed my hair until it hung in soft waves down my back. I put on my favorite garters and my high heeled boots, black lacy panties and black bra that really showed my cleavage. To top it off, all I wore was a fur coat that seemed perfect for the occassion.
I drove to the area where my then boyfriend lived and called him
up, only telling him I needed to come over and see him. He proceeded to tell me that he wanted to work on something in his apartment that night. I persisted, explaining that it was really important that I see him. He eventually told me that he was waiting for a drill and would have to see me another time. I went home pissed off.
Now logically I know that he had no clue what I had gone through to
make the evening one he would never forget. That said, he sat home with his drill, I
didn’t get drilled and I never offered to re-enact that scenario for him again for the
entire year that we stayed together.
My point is that you never know what a woman has on her mind. There are plenty
of women that I have spoken with that have planned similar evenings for their guys
that went to bed feeling unappreciated and even decided to let someone else
sample what she had to offer.
HAHAHA this is kinda funny…
What women what #42
How to Get Hot Women into Your Bed
Decide Now Enjoy Later - Decide before you even approach a woman
what you want out of the encounter. Do you want her phone number or
to find yourself in her bed tonight? A solid decision will bring
you that much closer to your objective.
Performance vs Outcome Goals - You can approach getting what you
want from your encounter in two ways. Either way you need to have
the attitude that you are the biggest stud there, the best lover
she will ever had and that other men’s dick’s shrink when you walk
in the room.
Performance Goals - pace yourself ( have mini goals) - first you
get her to say hi or get her to smile at you or engage in eye play,
then you get her to talk to you ( women like to talk if you haven’t
noticed) , then you go for her phone number. Then get out of there,
while you are ahead.
Always leave her wanting more.
Outcome Goals - Visualize her leaving your apartment after the
successful completion of a wild night of sex. Imagine your bodies
drenched with sweat. Smell that musky scent in the air. Feel that
wonderful exhaustion of an evening entirely well spent. Now look
back on all the steps that were required.
*** QUESTION ***
Hey Jeffy, I had a question for you.
I’ve been trying to pick up some girls and I’ve been trying to
keep in mind that some girls just aren’t at a point to accept a
relationship on any level (lesbian, engaged, stuck-up, etc.) But
I’m having trouble with a specific type of woman.
Nice girls. They just won’t respond to what I’m saying. I kid,
I poke fun, I’m relentless, but there isn’t a spark. The
tension never builds. Seldom will the girl pipe back in with a
remark or flirty gesture. I’m new to this but I can feel when a
girl is interested and wants to keep moving along with the game.
But with these girls it’s almost as if I’m pulling her along,
and I can’t get her to play my games. She isn’t aloof, she
isn’t stuck-up, she isn’t stupid, she isn’t uninterested, but
she’s somehow interested in the wrong way and it’s killing my
game.
Please show me how I can trigger the sexual part of her brain
instead of the purely social.
Thanks a million,
Mat
MY REPLY:
Ok, look, I know what you’re talking about here, because I
experience this from time to time as well.
You go up, and the chick is just completely unreactive. You
try cycling through everything you’ve got, trying different
tacks and hoping something, ANYTHING, will strike an emotional
chord with her.
But nothing works.
I’ll try being cocky. I’ll try being wacky. I’ll try being
extremely flirtatious. I’ll try getting really physical. I’ll
try getting really deep and emotional.
NOTHING WORKS.
You call these girls “nice girls.”
I have another term for them.
I call them BORING GIRLS.
And I hate boring girls.
In fact, I dislike them so much, that I would PREFER to game
a lesbian, or an engaged chick, or a stuck-up chick. At least
with them, I’d get SOME response.
These chicks, on the other hand, are as cold as a dead fish!
I can’t deal with it.
So what do I do? I’ll turn to my wing, and say, “Dude, these
chicks are BORING. Let’s go.” And just leave.
See, think of it like this: even if you could get this girl to
somehow be attracted to you, would you WANT to be around a
boring chick like that?
I certainly wouldn’t.
This is about SCREENING. See, most guys don’t know what they want
in a girl. They might say, “uhhh, hot,” but they really don’t
know what they want.
For me, I know exactly what I want: smart, funny, hot (of course),
wealthy, independent, and emotionally mature. I screen for these
things from the moment I open her.
I can afford to do this, because my skill set liberates me. I have
CHOICE now.
Girls aren’t used to having to prove themselves to guys that
approach them, because 90% of the time, these guys are complete
tools.
Let me tell you, you should see the looks on these boring chicks’
faces when I call them out and walk off.
Priceless.
So maybe it’s time you started being more selective about who
you pick up. Don’t look at it as something you “can’t do.” It’s
all about choice.
Cheers bro…
**** Lessons learned for girls,
have a player you don’t want after you and can’t get rid of them? Be COMPLETELY UNREACTIVE, and they’ll be off your tail soon. 
*** SUCCESS STORY ***
What’s good Jeffy?
I had to respond to your recent news letter: “Gaming Girls in the
Purple Rain.”
Although I’m a newbie to the game, when it comes to karaoke, I’m
a veteran – and everyone who knows me know my “signature song”
is none other than Purple Rain. In the 15 + years since I
started singing it, I’ve honed the song to near Prince-like
perfection. I’m talking girls swaying from side to side while
gripping ignited lighters in their outstretched hands here.
Anyway, I always suspected there was some way I could translate
that kind of crowd response into phone numbers and hook-ups, but
I was never really able to bridge the gap between friendly
adulation and real attraction – that is until I started reading
your newsletters.
One night a couple of months ago, after having read some of your
e-mails about tonality and karaoke, I brought some buddies out
to my favorite spot here in NYC. Before singing anything I
opened a group of 4 girls that were there, using a neutral
opinion opener. When one of them told me it was her birthday, I
turned to her and said in a calm, cool, deep voice while
smirking ever so slightly “I’ll tell you what, for your
birthday, I’ll sing a song especially for you.”
Then I kept on talking to her friends for a few minutes, trying
my best to show active disinterest in birthday girl, and then
returned to my table. When my song came up, I grabbed the
wireless mic and started singing, while slowly and deliberately
walking back toward the group of 4 and focusing right in on
birthday girl – just singing right to her – staring right into
her eyes, while glancing and smiling only here and there to the
friends, all of whom were now mesmerized.
When I finished the song, I said into the mic in the same cool
voice as before “Happy birthday [birthday girl’s name]” and
leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. Well damned if she didn’t
grab me by the head and start making out with me right there in
the middle of the bar right in front of her friends (and to the
stunned amazement of mine).
Needless to say, I got the digits. Oh, and by the way, that
particular song was not Purple Rain, but the all too appropriate
Wicked Game by Chris Isaac. Jeffy, if you don’t have that one
in your repertoire yet, learn it. Trust me.
Thanks to you and RSD for all of your kick ass advice!
BG – NYC
*** QUESTION ***
Hey Jlaix,
I have a couple of quick questions. First I have to give you
guys an obligatory plug. I took a workshop in January in
Toronto with Tyler and Barry and it was great! It really kicked
my game to the next level.
I’m a pretty confident guy in most areas of my life but this one
was the one sticking point. I’d have to say that before the
workshop if I saw a girl I liked there would probably be a 20%
chance that I’d approach but now there’s probably an 80% chance.
Attraction is not even an issue anymore, I just need to show up
and its there. So thanks a lot you guys.
Anyways to my questions:
1) Yesterday I approached this set of like 5 girls with an
opinion opener it was a really loud club so only about 2 or 3 of
them could hear me. I immediately got attraction from my target
and even befriended one or two of her less attractive friends.
It would have been on but since I couldn’t really engage the
rest of the group one of her friends one of them came around
from behind and pulled her away. Do you have any anti-
cockblocking defense tactics for this kind of stuff?
2) Also yesterday I opened this two set and had an immediate
connection with the one I wanted. Attraction/rapport was great,
looks-wise though she was probably a 7.5. One thing that was
great was that her friend was even qualifying her to me. It was
awesome!
Anyway throughout the night while I was dancing with this 7.5
girl another girl who I thought was probably an 8.5 was
making eyes at me but unfortunately I was tied up.
I talked to her briefly once but she probably thought I was with
the 7.5.
Anyways at the end of the night after I left the girls I was
dancing with I ran into Ms 8.5 again.
We talk for a lil bit and I ask her for her email, she tells me
she has a boyfriend. I bust her on it and tell her to tell me
his name, she does but I bust her on it anyways and tell her I
don’t believe her.
The gist of it is that I know that she wanted to talk to me and
give me her info but was scared that I’m a player or something
since she saw me all night with the other girls. I know deep
down that there was a way I could have worked the situation to
my advantage I just don’t know what that is yet.
Any advice you can give would be great.
Thanks Man
Phenomenal Patrick (the tall dark guy from the January
workshop in Toronto)
TO
MY REPLY:
Okay, let’s get right in there.
Your first question… this is a very common thing in these
loud clubs, and it can be annoying.
The thing you want to remember is this: you can always re-engage
the set later.
See, many guys think that once the girl’s been dragged off by
the friends, it’s all over. WRONG!
It’s not over until you say it’s over. In a recent newsletter
I talked about a student that opened a set with the SAME OPENER,
EIGHT TIMES, until they finally opened.
Now, I’m not necessarily advocating anything that extreme, but
it makes a point.
What you can do here is wait a while, then re-open the same set,
this time engaging the CBs and making them love you. Obviously,
by now, you are aware that the peer group’s approval is crucial
to your success, so make that a priority. Once you’ve gone
back in and re-engaged with the friends, it shouldn’t be
difficult to isolate the target. And once you’ve done that, you
can start running serious game and then the friends won’t matter.
Another thing to remember is this… when you’re gaming in a
super-loud environment, like on the dance floor or something,
you have to go in hard, then pull them to a quieter area as
soon as humanly possible.
Like, you go in, BOOM, then say, “Come here, I wanna show you
something awesome, it’s quieter over here,” then pull them away
before some BS like what you described takes place. You’ve got
to do it QUICKLY.
Another thing you could have done would be to merge groups. In
other words, open another set, then say, “Oh my god, you have to
meet my friends,” then drag them over to the other set, letting
them occupy the obstacles for you.
Second question… now, I’m gonna take your word for it here and
assume that the chick really thought what you say she did.
In this instance, I would have PAWNED the 7 off.
What you do is, bring the 7 over to the other girl. Then you
start talking to the 8, and basically gaming her up.
After a little while, you turn to the 7 and basically DISMISS
her, hard, right in front of the other chick.
You could say something like, “Ok, I told you, you’re not my type
so, just go back to your friends okay? Jeez.” Then backturn her
and continue talking to the 8.
Now, I don’t LIKE doing this necessarily, but it WORKS to spark
attraction when you’re faced with a scenario like you’ve
described here.
Experiment around with it, and get back to me.
*****comment: that is such asshole behaviour 
I’ve missed all 4 months of David D’s hilarious mailbag…
I liked him the best 
really don’t like the other jerks giving dating advice for guys out there.
Anyhooo… It seems nobody is following this thread anymore.
Hence this post will be closed unless I see new replies or get PM asking me to keep posting
It is interesting. I like it. Thanks.
BTW, the ebook links at the very beginning is dead. Could you post again or send them to
[email protected]?
thanks a lot 
intresting read… 
Hi,gogatsu. Thank you for sharing all this, they r really valuable info.
btw hav u got the audio version? I used to download them by emule, but after formatting the system I lost them all and now I can’t dl them again since I’m living in uni accomodation now.
thanks so much! it’s interesting to read!