QUESTION
Hey David
I’ll defer to your infinite wisdom on the subject
of a threesome. I’m in my early 30’s and
currently rehearsing a play at my apartment with
two actresses in their 20’s. We have a great
time, I pop open some vino and we all get very
loose while going over the lines. I’m good-
looking, successful and naturally cocky and funny
(not bragging just giving you the info). These
girls are extremely playful but what’s the best
way to get things going? Help me I’m running out
of rehearsals. Thanks from a disciple.
MY COMMENTS:
OK, now you’ve done it.
You’re starting to ask one of those “All men
will hate you and wish you would get a huge boil
on your nose questions”.
But I have to allow it, because it’s so damn
juicy.
Two actresses? Mid 20s? Playful? Vino?
Here’s what I’d do if I were you…
I’d suggest a game of “Truth or dare” during
vino.
Truth: “Have you ever kissed a woman?”
Dare: “Do it.”
You didn’t hear that from me… I know nothing.
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-06-23 04:41 ]
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-06-23 04:46 ]
(a guy who always back out at the moment to kiss or ‘stay over’)
MY COMMENTS:
I think you should do the following:
- Next time something like this happens…
BITCH SLAP yourself silly.
Dude, I don’t care what you have to do.
Get one of those stun-guns and shock yourself.
Hire someone to beat you up.
I don’t know…
Just quit screwing up at the critical moments.
Just be cool, and act like everything is the
way it’s supposed to be.
When the girl showed you her thong, you should
have said “Yea, it’s OK. You should have taken me
shopping with you for it… I have better taste.”
When she asked you to spend the night, you
should have looked at her and said “Listen here,
MISSY, I’m not that easy… I’ll spend the night,
but you’re sleeping on the couch. And no funny
business!” and then walked right into her
apartment, got into her bed, and said “Thanks for
letting me have your bed… very considerate of
you.”
And don’t forget to bitch slap yourself if you
need to.
And it sounds like you need to.
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-06-23 04:47 ]
How To Spot And Avoid The Wrong Women
Jun 24 2005
QUESTION
I ordered your ebook and it’s great, but i have a
question that i couldn’t find the answer to in
there. This girl and I were getting really close.
Everybody thought we were going to “hook up” soon.
Then, some jerk hooked up with her. I still tried
to get together with her even when they were going
out. I know this guy was a jerk and i kept
telling her that. Two years later, he dumps her
and tells her that he cheated on her over 15
times. He also said that she “was just a rug for
him to walk on”. She’s completely done with him
now, but there is still a problem…me and her
still aren’t together. I have a feeling that she
kinda likes me, but we don’t spend much time
together. We faded from each other’s lives a few
months ago and I don’t know how to get back into
her life. While I think she might have some small
feelings for me, she is probly going to be
cautious because I’ve been waiting for her for two
years. She’s busy working a lot and I don’t know
how to get close to her. It’s way to early to ask
her on a date. How can i get close to her if she
is being cautious (besides being funny of course,
because i automatically do that)? And also, every
time a girl finds out that I’m a wrestler and I
and do martial arts, they think that it
automatically makes me “not their type”. What do I
say to that?
MY COMMENTS:
To answer your second question first, just STOP
TALKING ABOUT being a wrestler and martial artist.
OK, now let’s talk about your INTERESTING
question.
Your question was "How can I get close to her
if she is being cautious…?
YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH DAMAGED GOODS… AND YOU
CAN’T SEE IT.
The last thing you want is a woman who is an
ABUSE MAGNET.
And again, the WORST part of this situation is
that you don’t realize what this whole situation
is saying about YOU.
You’re basically admitting that you are:
1) Attracted to the wrong kinds of women.
2) Blind.
3) Obsessive.
(By the way, so am I, so don’t feel too bad.)
So, what can a guy DO about a situation like
this one?
Well, here are a few ideas:
1) Forget this particular girl. She’s probably not
interested in you to begin with, and even if she
was, she’s likely to break your heart and dump you
for an abusive jerk (again) anyways.
2) Take a look at yourself, and figure out what
you REALLY want. If you want abuse, neglect, and
pain, hire a dominatrix. Less heartache.
3) Stop being so damn NICE. There’s an incredible
lesson here, but you’re not seeing it. Guess why
this girl chose the jerk over you? Hint: It was
NOT because he was chasing her around and
obsessing over her. It was because she felt
ATTRACTION for him. He triggered something inside
of her that is MORE POWERFUL than REASON. You need
to learn how to do THAT, my man.
do you have some strategies to teach a woman how to win a guy’s heart?
Secrets Of Dating Younger Women
Sep 20, 2005
By David DeAngelo
CATEGORIES AND CATEGORIES
I’ve found that women usually fit into one
of the following three categories when it comes
to how they view this topic:
1) “It’s perfectly normal” Maybe 20%)
2) “It’s taboo, and very intriguing” (Maybe 20%)
3) “It’s GROSS!” (Maybe 60%)
I just made these numbers up based on my
personal experience and my personal observations.
Some guys I know ONLY date women who are much
younger than themselves… and their experience
is that MOST younger women want to date guys who
are older… see for yourself.
Next, I personally think that maybe only 25%
of the younger women you meet are even worth
your time and attention.
75% are in the categories of not interested
in older guys, not attractive physically or
personality-wise, too immature, etc.
Of those that ARE worth pursuing, most fit
into one of a few categories:
1) Damn smart, high standards, and on the path
to bettering herself.
This young woman will often respect you and
admire you for your experience in life, and look
to you for approval, advice, and input.
She will probably get a thrill from being with
a guy who is mature, sophisticated, and who knows
how to make her feel good physically.
This woman might be the daughter of a strict
and/or religious family who is now experimenting
with her independence.
2) Attractive, and overly-concerned with what
others think… very competitive, life revolves
around boys.
If you meet a woman who is between 18 and 23,
and she’s a model, actress, dancer, or other
“entertainer”, you’ll often find this personality
type…
Often these girls like to PARTY.
Drama usually isn’t far away.
These women often enjoy the thrill that being
with an older guy brings.
They are often found on the arm of rich,
playboy types… because they like the attention
and material gifts and advantages.
WARNING: These women, in my experience, are
more likely to be users, cheaters, and the types
that turn your emotional life upside-down with
all kinds of unimaginable drama.
Buyer beware.
3) The nice girl who likes you. Maybe not
stunning, and maybe not a super-genius, but
likes the fact that she’s met a man who is a
MAN… and who makes her feel good.
Most of these women have a common realization
that guys their age just don’t “get it”.
They’re tired of hearing about dumb “guy
stuff”, and they are fascinated by a man who is
both clearly in control of himself and his
environment, and very aware of how to treat a
woman… how to make her feel good… how to
take his time.
These women can be great fun, and they can
be a real joy to be around. They often bring
a fun, spontaneous energy to the relationship,
and they make things a little unpredictable.
Now this isn’t a complete list.
And it’s not exact.
But it’s pretty accurate, and if you use
these categories as general guides, you’ll
begin to understand and have more success in
your interactions with younger women.
THE SPECIFICS… WHAT, WHEN, HOW
WHY, WHERE…
Here are some specific ideas for dating
younger women.
REMEMBER: These are WOMEN. They’re not
a different species, and everything else that
you’ve learned from me applies as well.
1) Be Cool, Dude.
When most older guys meet a younger woman
that they feel attracted to, they immediately
begin to act WEIRD.
They stop acting like “themselves”.
Now, women don’t know what you’re like
“normally”, but they can tell INSTANTLY if
you’re NOT ACTING LIKE YOURSELF.
Us guys do all kinds of subtle and not-so-
subtle little things when we’re feeling
nervous… and these things give women the
HEEBIE JEEBIES!
So be cool.
Relax.
Don’t act like a Wussbag.
2) Treat her like a BRATTY LITTLE SISTER.
Now that you’re being “cool”, take it to
the NEXT LEVEL…
Use one of my favorite personal techniques,
and treat her like your BRATTY LITTLE SIS.
Tease her.
Make fun.
It’s OK, go for it.
Say all the things you never had a chance
to say when you were a freshman.
Now’s your big chance!
And don’t worry about it when she plays
“fake mad”. Just turn it up some more.
Oh, and call her on everything she does
or says that’s immature.
I can’t go into all the reasons why this
is a great idea, but it is. You keep your
power, you have all kinds of opportunities
to be Cocky & Funny, and you can always keep
things interesting and challenging.
Oh, and it’s COMPLETELY different than the
way most Wussies treat her… which is good.
3) Don’t try to follow or get her to lead.
Women in general are not attracted to men
who don’t take the lead… and younger women
are no exception.
In fact, younger women have less experience
in life, so trying to get them to lead and
tell you what they want you to do is just a
horrible idea.
Don’t do it.
You lead. You decide where you’re going. You
make the rules.
If you try to make her the boss, you’ll run
her off faster than you can say “I touch myself”.
4) Don’t try to take advantage of the situation.
Most attractive young women have had at
LEAST one “icky older guy” that “tried something”
with her.
Younger women are HYPER-ALERT when it
comes to sketchy behavior.
If you try to take advantage of the situation
or try to “make a move” too early, you’ll most
likely signal to her that you’re a “perv” and
that you aren’t to be trusted.
Lean back.
Chill.
Give her room.
when you walk down the street with her, bump
into her and push her AWAY from you.
Tell her not to walk too close to you… tell
her that other people might think something.
If you’re alone with her in your living room,
don’t sit right next to her.
If she touches you while talking, don’t touch
her back… or even make fun of it and say “Keep
your hands off the goods”.
5) Don’t intrude on or interfere with her life.
You must remember that younger women have
lives of their own.
Often they’re very close to their families,
and they’re unsure of how their families would
respond if they found out that their pride and
joy daughter was dating an older guy.
Remember, she just got FREE of the overbearing
father… and she doesn’t need a new one.
Don’t call her at work, don’t show up to see
her unexpectedly, and don’t embarrass her.
If you want to make an attractive young woman
perform magic (the instant disappearing act),
just interfere with her life.
She’s free, so let her be free. Encourage it,
even. Don’t interfere.
6) Let her come to you… don’t chase her.
If you want to make friends with a cat, the
best tactic is to IGNORE IT.
Cats are interesting creatures.
Have you ever noticed that if you chase a
cat, it will run… but if you sit and ignore
it, you’ll soon find yourself pushing it off
of your lap?
Same goes for younger women.
Like I just mentioned, younger women have
often just “escaped” from controlling parents,
structured lives, and zero freedom.
If she’s attracted to you, it’s not because
you’re creating the environment that she just
left… it’s because you represent something
different.
You’ll find that if you call her all the
time and chase her, she’ll be harder to get
a hold of, and less likely to continue to see
you.
If you let her go, let her live her life,
and make yourself more scarce, you’ll be more
likely to have her pursuing YOU.
Be the man that she’s always dreamed about,
and then don’t chase her.
7) EXPECT her to change.
If you’re dating a woman between the ages of
18 and 23, you need to remember that her life is
probably going to change DRAMATICALLY over the
next few years.
You need to keep an open mind, and not try
to restrict or hinder her options.
You need to expect and even encourage her to
grow, change, and become all she can be.
The reality is that the chances are SLIM that
she’s going to be with you in a few years.
In fact, the chances are slim that she’s even
going to be the same person in a few years.
Get over it, and be OK with it.
Challenge her to grow, achieve, and be her
best… and don’t accept second-class behavior
from her.
But she’s going to change, so expect it.
8) Be CHIVILROUS.
Most younger women have had VERY FEW men
in their lives who even know what the word
“Chivalry” means.
If you’re one of those men, then you need
to LEARN what the word means.
Opening doors, walking on the outside of
the curb, and pulling out chairs makes a BIG
impression on younger women.
When you combine a masculine, powerful
presence with chivalry, you will stand out and
make yourself VERY intriguing and attractive.
9) Stay totally calm in the face of drama.
Younger women often have a lot of drama
happening around them, and they often act
dramatic.
I could write an entire book about all the
things that a young woman has going on around
her that are TOTALLY UNSTABLE…
And the most influential one is the other
people in her life.
If she freaks out about something, don’t let
it get to you.
Stay cool and calm.
Don’t try to fix all her problems, and don’t
try to stand in for her dad.
She isn’t looking for advice, so don’t give
it to her (unless she asks seriously, and in a
non-emotional tone).
One of the things that makes you attractive
as an older man is the stability that you bring.
So BRING IT.
10) Be conscious of how often you see her and
speak with her.
Younger women are less in-control of their
emotions… and can become attached more quickly
and easily.
The “trigger” for a woman “becoming attached”
is how often you see her and talk to her.
If you want to trigger the “relationship”
mechanism, spend a lot of time with her.
If you DON’T want to trigger those emotions,
you need to limit the time you spend with her.
As a rule of thumb, don’t see her more than
once a week, and don’t talk to her more than once
or twice a week unless you want her to start
becoming very attached to you.
And I don’t care what you SAY… it’s the
AMOUNT OF TIME you spend with her that makes
this determination.
Trust me.
David DeAngelo
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-09-23 12:34 ]
geniusu于2005-06-27写道:
do you have some strategies to teach a woman how to win a guy’s heart?
um... i didn't write these, and i'm female myself...
usually guys has to do the work to get the woman, perhaps that's why there are way more material on seducing women for guys
and frankly, while many guys are concerned about getting laid and a lot of the "teachings" ends in getting the woman into bed, and faster. (am i doing a great disservice for women here? :-o :-o ) women doesn't have to work very hard to get sex, if they want it.
i will make post if i find stuff for women
PS... i know it's been MONTHS, but i haven't gotten anything new from this mailing list, maybe he made more than enough money to bother with this newsletter...
but i guess no one is actively following this thread. lol
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-09-23 12:38 ]
I realize this post made into the headings of this board
thank you guys!
Now, articles from a different source, Ross Jeffries
they are kinda old, but i reckon people do not change so fast
Meeting Women, Hot Women In The “Nude” Millennium!
Jan / Feb 2000
RULE ONE: Get yourself in the right frame of mind.
You’re frame of mind is crucial when it comes to meeting and attracting women. And the single biggest and most common mistake guys make when it comes down to it, is they are relying on women accepting them FIRST, before they can feel good.
No, no and a thousand times no. This simply does not work. YOU must first learn how to produce good feelings in your body and mind BEFORE you open your mouth and say a word. Otherwise, you are relying on the WOMAN to make YOU feel good.
So you MUST learn to produce good feelings and states for yourself……
…BEFORE YOU EVEN WALK OUT THE FRIGGIN DOOR!
RULE TWO: Taken into account and USE the physical dictates and layout of the situation in which you find yourself.
Let’s say you live right by a jog or bike path. Women are constantly skating, blading, running or biking right by you.
Now, given that physical aspect of the situation and your own bone-deep sloth and aversion to movement, what do you have to do in order to meet and talk to these women?
…Ya Gotta Get 'Em To Stop!
I merely wait for a nice looking young lady to come jogging, blading or biking toward my stationary position along the path. I then jump out, hold out a hand and in my most authoritative tone yell:
STOP!
(This is actually pretty funny to watch. I have never had them NOT stop!)
I then say something like, “If you’re that easily stopped……you need a boyfriend who will MOTIVATE you! My name is Ross”.
Now, at this point, I bring into play……
RULE THREE: VERBALLY PACE THE ONGOING SITUATION
I cannot emphasize enough the power of this VERY important rule. Basically, what it means is to verbally describe and therefore ACKNOWLEDGE the situation and reality that she finds herself in with you.
In the example above, where I’ve just jumped in her path and yelled, “STOP”, what do you think this girl is thinking?
It’s a safe bet it is something along the lines of “this guy is nuts”!
So I better USE that instead of ignoring it.
I say something along these lines, "Look….I know this is a totally nutty way to meet someone (pacing her ongoing belief)…but I knew if I didn’t do SOMETHING to stop you, we’d never get a chance to talk (also completely true…a truism with which she cannot argue) and maybe see how much WE COULD REALLY LIKE EACH OTHER (embedded suggestion).
The principle here is VERY important. And that is…
BY DEMONSTRATING UNDERSTANDING, YOU INCREASE RAPPORT!
Now, let me make something critically clear: I did NOT say demonstrate that YOU are “understanding, sensitive” etc.
I said demonstrate “understanding”…of her ongoing reality and situation. Not in the sense of apologizing or excusing but simply that you are alert and AWARE of who she is and what she is experiencing.
From here, what I will do is say, "Look…I don’t have a lot of time here (A bit of a “takeaway” which always makes you more appealing). And it’s obvious that you are on the move too. But if you’ll sit with me for 5 minutes, I’ll analyze your handwriting. You’ll get to learn secrets about yourself your best friends don’t know and I’ll get to find out if YOU are the kind of person I want to know better.
Here I’m structuring an opportunity AND offering her a challenge, two of the three aspects of controlling and setting frames.
PLACES TO MEET WOMEN
MY favorite places are:
*Restaurants with attached bars. These places are often great Tues-Thursday nights, around 6-8:30 PM. Especially upscale places, they cater to a professional crowd. Some VERY nice looking women looking to unwind after work. Also often these places serve as a meeting ground for women having bachelorette parties.
*Coffee houses like Starbucks, Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, etc. Great from 8-10:30 AM every day of the week. After 9am you are more likely to get women who work in retail, outside sales like pharmaceutical reps, self-employed, students etc.
*Supermarkets- M-F noon to around 1:30 PM as women on their lunch hours pop into buy things. M-Thurs 6-830 PM. Sat 10AM-noon, same for Sundays.
*Shopping Malls- This is a no brainer. If they have a good food court and are near offices, then noon til 130 PM, M-F. Hit the food courts and forget most of the rest of the stores. Other good times: Tues-Thurs 630-8PM and Sat afternoons.
*Gyms- Ok…I belong to THREE gyms and I only really work out at ONE of them! I especially recommend rock-climbing gyms. The women are in awesome shape, usually quite adventurous and you don’t need to know how to actually climb! All you actually need to learn out to do is hook up and hold the rope that anchors or belays them to the wall. “Hey…Debby…put your left leg a little wider…WIIIIDDDDER…there’s a foot hold right…there!”
*Yoga Classes- Unbelievable amounts of hard-bodied, wildly well-shaped women. Take a beginners class if you’ve never done it before and you’ll met lots of women, who are also VERY suggestible and open to “new ways” of thinking.
USING HUMOR TO MEET WOMEN
For me, one of my favorite ways to meet women is to use some type of humorous approach that gets her laughing.
Why is this so important?
Laughter sets a woman at ease at puts her off guard.
Getting her laughing shows that you are confident and don’t take the process of meeting her too seriously…unlike a desperate hard-up loser that HAS to succeed, YOU are a fun guy, enjoying your exciting life and creating an opportunity for HER to step into it and have some fun too…IF she plays her cards right.
Humor is a way to test to see if SHE has a personality. If she is a mean, unhappy be-yatch, why bother?
MOST IMPORTANTLY, LAUGHTER GIVES YOU A BEHAVIORAL RESPONSE from her that you can mention, incorporate, and future pace into HER IMAGINING CONTINUING TO HAVE FUN WITH YOU LATER!
THE CORNY LINE HUMOROUS APPROACH
I was doing some errands in a local mini-mall when I spotted an unbelievably hot-bodied woman in tight-fitting workout outfit.
As she was leaving the yogurt place with her double combination vanilla/chocolate swirl, I said, “Excuse me……has anyone ever told you……you’re a shining example of physiological perfection?”
Her response of course, was to laugh and say “Thank you…no…you are the first!”
I then USED her laughter response by saying, “Well, I’m glad you laughed…because I really do think you are breathtaking…and I wanted to get a glimpse at the personality inside of the beauty before I introduced myself. My name is Ross”.
I then invited her to sit down while we enjoyed a brief handwriting analysis that revealed her to be a paranoid/schiz with a tendency toward violence and pathological lying. So much for that possibility. But the intro DOES work.
Notice here, that I mentioned and USED the fact that she laughed as a way of establishing that I was looking for MORE than her physical beauty.
THE CRAPPY SKETCH-ARTIST HUMOROUS APPROACH
Ok. This is a perfect approach to use with women who are in a group, although students have used it on women sitting alone as well.
It works with or without initial eye contact too!
What you do is carry around a pen and a small spiral-note pad. Catch the eye of the lady you fancy IF YOU CAN, but if not, don’t worry about it. If you DO catch her eye, make a big show of pretending to sketch her. Furrow your brow and act as if you are in deep concentration. (It works even if you CAN’T catch her eye, but do make the effort!)
Now, what you are doing here is a PARODY of the old, shopworn, trite, “May I sketch you, beautiful lady gig?”. Because what you are actually doing on that pad of paper, is sketching the crappiest, STICK FIGURE drawing of her that would embarrass a dyslexic five year old! Draw her friends in very tiny, no bigger than the size of dimes.
Label it accordingly, such as, “Beautiful Woman At Dinner With Friends”. Then with a flourish, sign it, date it, and fold it two.
Walk up to her at the table and say, “Excuse me…but your beauty has inspired me to high art.”
At this point, you can work it two ways. You can simply walk away and return to your seat as she opens and unfolds it. What will happen is she will pause…then burst out laughing and show it to her friends. After you’ve returned to your seat, wave with a Flourish and take a bow, like you are proud of your work. About 50% of the time they will wave you over to the table and play along.
Explain that it is an ABSTRACT rendition that emphasizes the underlying ephemeral aspects of the counterpointing metaphorical structure as super-imposed on the physical aspects of the rendition of the work. Ham it up good!
Above all, understand that this approach is a TEST. It is a test to see if these women are open, friendly and have good, fun personalities and it is also, primarily a way to GET YOURSELF INTRODUCED TO THE TABLE!
Now, a good way to get the conversation going once you’ve been introduced to the table is to ask a simple question,
“I’m curious about something. Which one of you has the most curious and adventurous mind?”
They will usually volunteer a girl and ask why. You then say, “Because I just took this really funky self-improvement seminar and they were talking about all sorts of cool ways things really work in your mind. Who wants to see something REALLY cool?”
You are then, my friend, off to the races. You have also pre-qualified TO SELECT THE MOST RESPONSIVE PROSPECT. Sometimes the most responsive will be the most physically attractive and sometimes not. But YOU are letting THEM do all the work by finding the right prospect FOR YOU!
The other way is to work this is to wait for her to laugh and THEN say, “I’m glad you laughed because you guys all look like you have open and fun personalities, and I wanted to find some way to introduce myself. My name is……”
Then simply hit them with the question about who has the most open and curious mind.
Another alternative is to say, “I’m glad you laughed because I noticed you here with your friends and I wanted to get a glimpse of the personality inside of the beauty before I introduced myself. My name is….” Then offer to do her writing by saying, “Well, look if you’re open and adventurous enough for it I analyze handwriting. You’ll learn secrets about yourself your best friends don’t know and I’ll get to find out if you’re the kind of person I’d like to get to know better”.
This “Crappy Artist” approach also works wonders for waitresses, hostesses, flight attendants, etc. etc. etc. It works for girls sitting alone or with friends. It’s the perfect way to get the attention of women lying face down, asleep in the sun at the beach or by the pool. It’s fun, easy and really quite effective, but it does take some balls and every once in a while, some nasty little c-nts won’t appreciate it. I even once had a woman rip the drawing in half and glare at me.
This is the perfect time to fake an epileptic fit and rant about your court appointed psychiatrist. That usually changes the tone of things and keeps it light and fun…for YOU!
Super-Seduction Through The Power of Abduction: How To Use Poems, Stories and Narratives To Create An Overwhelmingly Powerful And Structured Responsiveness In Her To Your Voice!
May/June 2000
there are basically three modes of thinking.
First, there is deduction. Deduction involves starting with basic principles…the big chunk, overall picture and from there, working down to the smaller details. It is “from the top down” thinking.
Secondly, there is induction. Induction involves taking the smaller pieces and from there, “inducing” what the larger picture must be.
I’d like to talk about a profoundly powerful way of thinking called “abduction”. It’s where we use stories, jokes, poetry, metaphor, narratives, quotes and the like to open an otherwise resistant or non-responsive mind to new possibilities.
first of all, the unconscious, as I have said before, recognizes FORM before CONTENT. In other words, unconsciously, we are all trained to have a certain set of responses to communication in the form of a story that are more open, more receptive and FAR less skeptical than a flat out argument or recitation of facts.
Think back to when you were a little kid and Mom, Dad or even teacher would say, “Once upon a time….”
What do those words do? They function as a code that instructs the mind, “Turn off the critical/resistant parts and open up the suggestive, IMAGINATIVE part of the brain.” By putting the message you want to get through inside an acceptable FORMAT, you in effect create a Trojan horse against which there is little or no possibility of defense!
First, foremost and of course, always, we must have rapport.
Let’s say for example, your soon to be honey is big on dancing. Salsa, Rumba, Flamenco, Ballet, whatever. Simply asking a question like, “What kind of dancing do you like to do?” really doesn’t activate much more than her fact reciting brain centers. All she has to do is give you the simple answer, “Patagonian Two Stepping” and the conversation is already pretty much over.
If however, you ask her a question along THESE lines, “What is it about dancing you find the most fulfilling?” she must delve into and ACTIVATE the deeper centers of her mind in order to formulate and give an answer. In so doing she will also be giving you her symbolic accessing; her cues or symbols that she uses to map out and enter that deeper place of such powerful meaning inside her world. In other words, her words are not mere puffs of air between her lips when she speaks from THIS level of the mind.
As such, when she answers your question, make sure you mentally note the words she leans on; the ones that receive great emphasis. You see, if in answering you, the words and phrases she leans on are ENERGY……EXPRESSION……PASSION…….BEING A CHANNEL FOR WHAT’S MYSTERIOUS……then the key to making whatever “abduction” you use much more powerful is…
INCLUDE THOSE WORDS AND PHRASES IN YOUR OTHERWISE PRE-SET/MEMORIZED STORIES, POEMS AND PATTERNS!
To use NLP jargon for perhaps the only time since I’ve been writing these newsletters, by using her own key words, you make the stories, poems etc. you use “isomorphic”. That is, they very closely and powerfully match HER map of the most important parts of her world, including those she has yet to but longs to EXPERIENCE! You therefore awaken those aspects of her that reflect her deepest desires and unmet needs! This not only gets her to powerfully respond but can easily be parlayed (ha ha) into her reaching the mysterious conclusion that opening up and responding to YOU is the key to continuing to experience even more and better of this than she ever DREAMED possible!
Next Step… Anchor And Set Up A Loop!
Once you’ve recited your poem or story or narrative loaded with her key words, make sure you anchor the response. Simply reach out, touch her on the back of the hand and say, "Can you feel THAT… (timing it so the touch coincides with the word “that”)…would be an amazing thing to experience.
You have now got a permanent pathway back into that part of her mind by setting up the anchor.
You are then going to build on that pleasure state you’ve created to condition her to much deeper and more powerful responding!
By getting her to run a loop. Simply say, "Now, I invite you to notice how by just closing your eyes… and taking a deep breath (demonstrate the behavior by taking a deep breath in)…all the imagery and all the feelings of that story(or poem, whichever it was) can CUM FLOODING THROUGH YOU.
Continue by saying, “So that with each and every beat of your heart…each and every breath you take… each and every passing moment.the pleasure and the enjoyment of being in this special place… with this special voice… just gets better and better.”
Now, what are you doing here? Well, by getting her to repeat the images and feelings (WITHOUT THE WORDS THAT PRODUCED THEM.THIS IS VITAL!) you are really anchoring in the deepest levels of response, reinforcing all the most powerful imagery and feelings to…
…………The Mere Act Of Listening To Your Voice…No Matter What You Friggin SAY!
Thus, with this model, “seduction” really is about a process of CONDITIONING her to powerfully respond to your voice, using a structured approach that incorporates
1.non-verbal rapport
2. begin the process of opening the deeper levels through the questions you ask which can ONLY be answered by her accessing those deeper levels on her part
3. adding more energy and power and responsiveness to those levels of her mind by incorporating her answers into your already powerful poems and/or stories,
4. DEEPENING the conditioning and responsiveness through having her LOOP BACK THROUGH THE IMAGERY AND FEELINGS WITH THE WORDS SUBTRACTED OUT!
Please understand that by subtracting out the words and just having her loop on the images and feelings, you are creating the generalization in her mind that opening and responding to your voice is what produces the incredible states of pleasure… and NOT the actual words that you say.
Therefore, from this point on, ANY traditional SS patterns you might use will be met with much greater responsiveness on her part, and for that matter, so will reading from the’ phone book, because YOU have created that conditioning!
Advanced Techniques To Combat The Female Interruption Mechanism!
JAN 2001
Scenario: You’re at a party or a bar. You meet a very hot looking woman, who seems open, even eager to get to know you. You’re running patterns on her, and she’s feeling that “incredible connection”. By the end of the evening (or even a few short hours of talking) the two of you are going at it, making out like crazed teenagers, playing tonsil-hockey and dry-humping like you’ve just discovered friction. She eagerly gives, even volunteers her number to you, asking when you will call her.
Your blue-balls barely allow you to squeak out the answer, “Really soon…. I promise.”
Seems like a good thing, right?
I think you may know where I’m going with all this.
You wait a day or two, and when you call her either:
You can’t get a hold of her. You leave a message or messages and she NEVER calls you back.
You do get a hold of her, but she tells you, “I’m just walking out the door” or “I’m on the other line” and she asks if she can “call you back”. Of course, you NEVER hear from her.
You do get a hold of her, you make a plan to see each other again, but, at the last minute, she calls and cancels with a lame excuse like, “I’m tired” or “I’ve got to take my friend to the airport” or whatever latest b.s. excuse she’s pulled from the U.F.E.A (Universal Female Excuse Archive).
Beat me with a stick and tell me it don’t ever happen.
1. Many women have some serious “ruins” on the subject of men. They are so messed-up with so much baggage and fear; they talk themselves out of things.
In this kind of circumstance or situation, what happens is that she has a great initial encounter with you. She really does enjoy it, at the time, and she’s so caught up in the good feelings, that all the normal bad memories/bad feeling loops are shut off.
But just as soon as she’s out of your sight, all the old “garbage” kicks in. And anything can trigger it. The bottom line is, you just don’t know.
2. Many women have existing relationships that don’t make them happy and they ARE open or at least curious about other things out there. As you get better at attracting, your net that you cast effectively widens, and so you’ll get some confused fish. The same behaviors will manifest (canceling at the last minute, flaking, calls not being returned) Again, the best thing is to stay calm and point out they are missing out.
The issue is: did you get good, strong, trance responses, doggie-dinnerbowl looks, etc. on the initial meeting or was she simply completely unresponsive and unimpressed?
3. Many women have lives of great financial and other turmoil and once a year we have the thrice-damned “HOLIDAYS” that messed up everyone’s ability to make plans!
Scenario/Response
If she doesn’t show or flakes/cancels, (or just plain doesn’t return my calls) here is the message I leave on her voice-mail or machine. And I wish to emphasize I leave this message matter of factly and in a totally calm fashion. No anger, no neediness, just as if I was telling her that her shoe is untied. Staying calm is a huge advantage, indeed, a necessity when dealing with the opposite sex:
"Hey, it’s Ross… it’s 3pm and you were supposed to meet me at the Starbucks at 2pm and I have to say I’m quite puzzled. You didn’t STRIKE me as the kind of person who would deliberately interrupt her own opportunities… especially when the first tastes felt so good… so I’m just wondering what happened in your environment to force you to keep missing out. My number is: XXXXXXXX)
Now, let’s take a long, careful look at this message and why it works.
First of all, I am avoiding the frame of being a supplicant or beggar. I’m not making it about me wanting something SHE has and now I’m all disappointed, angry, confused and upset that I am missing out on the gift SHE has to give.
Everything in this message sets up another frame. And that is the frame that…
…She Is The One Who Is Missing Out And Losing By Not Keeping Her Commitment/Appointment With Me!
Now, let’s look at the message piece by piece:
1. “It’s Ross; it’s 3pm and you were supposed to meet me at the Starbucks at 2pm”-Ok, this is simply reminding them of the commitment that was made.
2. “I have to say I’m puzzled. You didn’t strike me as the kind of person”- Ok, here I put the emphasis on “strike me”. Why? Because it implies something else that is NOT stated, “I guess, after all, maybe you ARE that kind of person.” In other words, I’m saying, “Hey… maybe you’re a real loser, can you prove to me you are not”?
3. “As the kind of person who would deliberately interrupt her own opportunities”-Ok, notice the language “the kind of person”. Here I’m not just challenging her bad behavior, but implying it is about her as a person, which makes it much worse for her as a consequence. And notice I am saying she is “interrupting” her own “opportunities”.
“Opportunities” is very vague, so she has to do an internal search to find out how it uniquely fits for her. Also,“opportunities” is an emotionally loaded word that is charged with meaning in our culture; this is the land of “opportunities”, “don’t let your opportunities pass you by” etc. Just ask anyone the difference between “options” and “opportunities” and listen to what they say! So, it IMPLIES she is losing out, big time, WITHOUT ACTUALLY SAYING IT and by tying it in to who she is as a person, is implying that if she keeps acting this way, in the future she will CONTINUE TO MISS OUT!
4. “I’m wondering what happened in your environment to force you to keep missing out”… By switching gears and making it about something in her environment, we are now giving her an “out”; a way to say, “Whew….if I act now, I can blame it on something other than me and STILL get to be with him and not BE A LOSER who misses out in life!”. By giving her this “out” she gets to avoid being defensive or sticking with labeling herself as a loser; she can now come back at us fully charged and ready to go for it with us.
In a nutshell, what we are doing here is resetting the frame by being vague, using implication, pointing out loss and challenging her self-image. We’ve in no way been nasty or rude, so we’ve left the door wide open. Consider:
If she really couldn’t make it, due to some nasty and unplanned emergency or something else beyond her control, we aren’t being mean or nasty and so we keep our option open to see and enjoy her all the while putting the responsibility on her to prove herself to us.
If she backed away or cancelled because she is already with a guy or has talked herself out of it due to pain of a previous relationship or because we made her feel so good, she now has safety and control issues, we’ve subtly challenged her self image and pointed out to her that she could very well be losing and missing out!
It bears repeating: notice too that at NO time are we getting angry, accusing, blaming, or acting desperate, needy or even half-way or mildly rude. Just calmly, casually, implying things and giving her an opportunity to step into something wonderful she knows on some level she wants, desires and needs to enjoy!
Now, there are variations on this basic message; sometimes you will get through to them personally and deliver it directly rather than through a machine. But the basic principles of staying calm, using implication and vagueness, challenging her self-image and perceptions of herself (the kind of person who lets opportunities get away from her) and setting the frame that you are the prize to be offered and won; these are what truly counts no matter what the variations!
Variations On The Theme; Other Responses To Other Challenges!
The “boyfriend” objection can come up at different times. It may be hauled out just as you are meeting her/closing her for the number or it may start when you start getting physical with her.
If she tells me she has a boyfriend when we first meet, either directly in the form of an objection, or he just gets brought up in conversation, I treat it casually, just like this,
“Oh…well, I ASSUMED someone as attractive as you are would be with SOMEONE. I just sometimes encourage people to ask: is he filling a role? Or is he fulfilling needs that come from deep inside who you are? And deep inside the person you are longing to be? Because if it’s the second… well… wow… I can only say, congratulations…this is great. Hang on to this. But if it’s the first… maybe we have something to talk about”.
Now, this is loaded with so much good stuff, I won’t attempt to go into it in detail. But basically, it’s getting her to go inside and compare her current relationship to what her ideal would be, and 90% of the time the current relationship WILL come up lacking. And, it reframes it away from HER being the one who has something you want, to you being someone and something SHE might be missing out on!
The Safety/Control Challenge
As guys, we are usually so eager to get our wicks dipped; we don’t understand that women often have safety/control issues when it comes to sex. Here are some typical things you will hear and some good responses:
Her: “Wait, wait… I can’t do this. I have a boyfriend!”
You: “Oh… I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware you were already enjoying this level of experience with him”. (Credit to Brother Bishop for this response!) Then get up, walk away, start getting dressed.
Her: “Wait… wait… this is going too fast!”
You: " I don’t think it’s really about the velocity that are hands and limbs are moving, is it? It’s really about how safe and comfortable you really want to feel… right NOW…isn’t it? Because what really matters isn’t SPEED…what matters is what feels good…and feel right… for all your own reasons…right here…(touch pussy)…right now…don’t you??
Her: “Wait… Wait… What is it that you want?”
You: “What is that you want…to stop denying yourself…because of fears from the past…that have kept you back and held you down for so so long… so long to all of that… as you just let go… and feel good… and deserving… and right… inside… right here… right in this moment… right now!”
The Confusion/This Shouldn’t Be Happening Challenge
Here’s an interesting paradox to ponder; the more you stand outside of what a woman is normally used to being attracted to, the more impact you will have, because you are so different from what has come for her before. But it is this self-same difference that will also make you unfamiliar to her, and therefore confusing, even scary!
Often, you’ll hear something like, “Look; you’re just not my type” or “I like you but I am NOT going to sleep with you (until I figure out why I’m so damned attracted to you!)
Here is a good, general-purpose response that avoids arguing or begging.
“Hey, if you want to prejudge your own opportunities based on the ways you’re USE to responding with men, maybe I’m not the one missing out here…so, anyway… what did you think of the WWF last night on Channel 13?”
Again, while the wording is somewhat different, notice again the phrasing about"missing opportunities”. It’s powerful to recognize that humans are usually more motivated from fear of loss than moving towards what they realize they want; so subtly use this fact in overcoming these many forms of resistances! Take care to always set or re-set the frame to keep you out of supplication and firmly in control of who is seeking whom!
The Mail Bag:
Date: Tue, 09 Jan 2001 15:59:23 -0500
To: [email protected]
From: Russ
Subject: [SS] SS usage report (thanks Ross!)
Reply-To: [email protected]
Dear Ross and SS Brothers,
SS is really starting to set in for me.
Sunday afternoon I get a call from Jessica. We met online & setup Sunday as the day we’d meet (She gets home from XMas Vacation Sunday). As she was not sure what time she’d get in/unpacked we did not setup a fixed time. She called around 5:30 to let me know she wouldn’t be able to make it. I recently had a conversation with Ross (thanks!) and was able to apply some of what he said immediately. Responded to her with “Really, that’s too bad, I thought you were the type of person that would notice an opportunity right in front of her and grab ahold of that opportunity. I guess I may have been wrong”. She was silent for several seconds and then said “Well I have all my stuff inside so my car is clean…when would work”. I came back with “How about right… NOW”. She said OK and left within 10 mins LOL.
Brother Russ
Russ,
If only more students would listen to me and DO just like I told them to!
I’m proud of ya, Bro!
RJ
From: no9
To: [email protected]
Subject: [SS] Question on Conditioning Vs Training…
I’ve read Ross mentioning the importance of conditioning women, especially those that require more patterning language to lead them where you want to go.
My current understanding is that training would be rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior. But conditioning also includes setting the frame in which you want a person to respond to your training … by conditioning a woman, I am both eliciting emotions AND setting it up where it is only natural for both of us to continue and deepen this process.
So my questions are, what exactly is ‘conditioning’, how does one go about it, and what is the difference between conditioning vs. training?
Dear No9
sometimes, being thorough is more important than trying to rush. And also, recognize that some otherwise very tasty and responsive women just take more time to work through their responses.
So, for me, conditioning is the process of seduction that may take place over the course of more than one sitting/meeting. Perhaps an initial meeting, then a phone call, (or email) and then a follow up meeting before you “close the deal”.
This means I am conditioning them to:
1. Be responsive to my voice. To associate my voice to feeling excited, turned on, adventurous, being in a place of “permission” where she can really have what it is she’s dreamed of, looked for and beyond.
2. Be responsive to following simple instructions/suggestions/commands.
3. Ratify for themselves that they ARE having a great experience and that they DO want more. (On a scale of 1-10, how good do you feel right now, Brunhilde? Do you want to experience even MORE good feelings? Just say, “More”)
4. Viewing me as an opportunity to experience wonderful things within the context of meeting my terms for reliability, keeping commitments, returning calls, being on time, etc. As long as they are responsive, fun, communicative and meeting these other terms, I’m not going to force my tongue down their throat or my dick up their cootchie (I never force it anyway!) and will give them 3, even 4 meetings before they “come across”.
What this helps to do is to set a context for her to frame her experience with me, when we DO get sexual, as something she’s enjoyed, looked forward to, would like to have again, without all the twitchiness, demands, and other spastic stuff that often gets attached when women mate with men, and also avoid it ALWAYS getting stuck into the “one night stand” category.
Recruiting may be fun, but it takes up time and focus, and I want to structure things so she can integrate her experience, feel good about it, and want to come back as a repeat customer! Getting a girl damned hot and bothered and banging her outside of her normal time frames can be fun for you AND her, but she may then look back on it with remorse and never talk to you again.
Nine, No, Make That 10 “Master Keys” To Outrageous Pick-up Success!
Here are 10 Powerful Secrets To Meeting Women Anytime, Anywhere!
(Warning: Hidden In This Issue Of This Newsletter Is A Key Principle For Persuading People To Accept You As An Unquestionable Authority In Virtually Any Context Or Situation!)
Jan/Feb 2002
The Master “Master Key”
As in anything, I believe the first steps to success involve deciding for yourself the meaning and intent you are going to carry into what you are doing.
First and foremost, I believe "walk-up” or “pick-up” is not necessarily the most useful label. I prefer to think of it as “energy extension and sharing”.
My view of meeting women is that I am going to go out in a great state, and playfully extend my energy, awareness and intent to see what responses I can get from people and then use whatever responses they give me to see if they are people I want to further play with.
The first key to meeting women, then, is to assign the right meaning to the task, which is, YOU ARE PLAYING WITH PEOPLE AND YOU ARE TESTING THEM*.
First, and foremost, you are looking for responses that give you something you can use and information that tells you something about her
Once you get them, you can further test and gather more info and take them further along in the “seduction” process.
2. Being matter of fact.
This is a biggie. When I do my approaches, I am just VERY matter of fact about it. No matter how outrageous my words MIGHT be (and they aren’t always) my tone, posture and energy are all “matter of fact”. It’s as if what I am really saying is, “This is the way it is for me…can YOU handle it?”
Especially if I am delivering anything that smacks of a compliment, I deliver it in the same way I’d say, “Excuse me… I just wanted to tell you… your shoe’s untied!”.
Generally speaking (there are always exceptions), the more out there you are in what you say, the more you need to under-play the presentation of it.
3. Verbally pacing the on-going situation/demonstrating authority.
One of the key principles of persuading someone to do something, in any context or situation is this: Before a person will accept you as an authority on where they can go, they must first accept that you are an authority on where they are! This especially applies if you are different from what they normally go for.
When you verbally pace the ongoing situation-when you use your words to accurately describe the situation between you and what she is going through, she shifts to accepting you as an authority on where she ought to go.
Let’s use the example of meeting a woman who is in an obvious hurry. She’s about to dash out the door of the coffee place where you met her in line, her keys are in her hand, and she’s looking at her watch in an obvious rush. And, you haven’t had more than 3 minutes to talk. Here’s the pattern to use:
“Listen, I don’t have a lot of time here, and obviously you don’t either. I’ve got to get going, and it appears you do too. And, we don’t know each other. I don’t really know you and you don’t yet know the person I am…but if you’re not with someone who is with you in the way you truly want them to be…maybe we owe it to each other to talk”
In this example, you are making statements that are observably true and that she MUST agree with. It creates a great deal of acceptance for the challenge/opportunity you present at the end of it.
One thing you can do to start this process in virtually any situation is to say something along the lines of, “Excuse me…you don’t know me but…” and then add in whatever else you have to say. You are verbally pacing her realization and the factual situation that indeed, she does NOT know you. It also immediately inoculates against her having that objection, because you have brought it up!
Here’s a variation on this that adds in a challenge to her: “Excuse. me… you don’t know me…but I was hoping you’re confident enough to accept a sincere compliment…”
By the way, when I say the word “sincere” I close my eyes as if I am feeling the sincere feelings at that moment and put my hand on my chest.
I’ll then offer the compliment SO matter of factly it is more like an observation, as if I was observing, “Your shoe is untied”. (There’s that matter of fact thing again!)
4. Continuously monitoring/calibrating her comfort level.
This is an important skill in any type of persuasion situation, and it requires that you get out of your own head and focus entirely on the other person, while at the same time, keeping your intent and outcome somewhere in mind. As such, it can be a tricky thing to master.
The fact is, when you first approach a woman, she might be less comfortable in the beginning, than later on. Or she may not agree with or even understand what it is you are trying to tell her!
Rather than taking that personally, if you can back up and measure where she is at, and just view whatever she offers by way of response as useful information, you can calmly learn to grab it, redirect, even use it as a lever to catapult her into liking you.
Now, here is a very cool technique that is so easy, that will help you apply this master key. When I sense I am overwhelming a woman or she is otherwise less than comfortable with what I am saying or doing, I will PHYSICALLY lean back, withdrawing the energy and attention I am offering. More important, if I am standing, I will physically take 2 steps backward to give her the chance to process what I am saying.
This is SOOO important. Time and again, in initial walk ups, when I sense discomfort, I take two steps back and immediately the woman softens and starts to process in a more positive way.
5. Showing genuine curiosity on a deep level, early on.
For me, when I meet a woman, I want to put the lust aside long enough to GET CURIOUS. What moves this person? What are her wants? Needs? Desires? What stirs her? What does she find most fulfilling?
I keep my energy held in, somewhat. I’m not assaulting the person or being hyper-kinetic. I am demonstrating that THEY, in that moment, are my entire attentive world and I want to find out about them. I even this out with a good, playful sense of humor. Makes a great combination.
6. Demonstrate something fascinating early on.
7. Testing her for various kinds of responses.
Please, listen to me. Harken onto this golden advice: the best pick-up artist/seducers always test the women they meet to see if they meet a certain set of qualities and characteristics. It is very important; of course, that you select a woman who is physically attractive, but that alone doesn’t mean you should continue with the pick-up.
Here are some of the things I test for:
How well does she follow instructions?
How well does she follow a train of thought?
Does she offer her own ideas/feedback?
How does she respond to being touched?
Is she open and eager to exploring life?
Does she offer compliance as part of her being curious and wanting to learn?
8. Leaning in and leaning out.
This sounds a bit like master key 4, but it is a bit different. Even when she is showing she is deeply comfortable I have found that setting up SOME kind of rhythm where, from time to time I withdraw my energy by physically leaning back and then re-extend it by leaning in, vastly deepens rapport and her responses.
9. Getting agreements early on in my conversations.
What do I mean by this? Well, I tell women, early on, when offering a demonstration of some kind, that sometimes it gets really accurate and that scares some people. So, I want to make an agreement. I will tell you EVERYTHING I see, but only if you promise that instead of being scared, you’ll be excited enough to want to learn more and get even MORE curious and intrigued! Deal? (And then I extend my hand for them to shake…)
Once they do that, they’ve inoculated themselves against fear/overwhelm. I’ve given them an identity to live up to, EARLY ON, that strongly sets a direction for them to accept something new, different, etc. I STILL watch out for signs of overwhelm, but it greatly diminishes it.
I’ll also say things like, “Look…I’m a LOT of person. I’ve got a lot in here, and sometimes it can overwhelm people. So let’s make an agreement as we hang out that if you ever start feeling a little overwhelmed, you’ll just let me know, and I’ll back up a bit.”
Same thing with extending the hand and the handshake. But often, I also get from them, “Don’t worry! I’m too much for most people too! I THINK IT’S GREAT!”
I’m also watching to see how congruent they are in these agreements. If I sense fear, even AFTER this, I know they are a bad candidate for further explorations, and I simply cut things short/break rapport/leave etc. etc. etc.
I’ve learned to do this, because, fact of the matter is, I CAN be overwhelming. I’m a very powerful, VERY confident person, and while this can be and is attractive, it CAN scare people if they aren’t properly “prepped”.
10. Screen out sickos!
I’m lately DETERMINED not to let “sicko/psycho” women past my defense grid! Women who early on in a conversation inappropriately revealing private things about their lives, women revealing grandiose/disturbed thought patterns, women who have totally dead emotional affect or who are deeply angry at men, women who totally seek abuse/jerkoff men… I ELIMINATE THEM! Within about 5 minutes.
Ok…those are my 10 Master Keys. Put them into use and enjoy your skyrocketing suck-cess!
I’ve editted out some sexually explicit phrases in the last 4 articles
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-09-24 07:18 ]
More from Ross Jeffries:
voice message you can leave when responding to personals (can be used in other ways if you are creative) :
“Vanessa, have you ever been really attracted to a man’s voice while listening to your messages? And the warmth of that voice just began to wrap itself around you and penetrate your thoughts? You began to have certain ideas. And maybe as you allowed that warmth to heat up into a fire, and as your heart began to pound with the excitement of that, you realized there’s something you’ve got to have, deep inside. You know this is true. So listen, I really liked your message and if you find yourself reaching for the phone, I just want you to know that you should take all the time you need in the next 30 seconds. Here’s my phone number.”
And you will definitely love this:
“I used to think my best ideas came from above me, but now I know they come from below me.”
As in blow me.
“If you listen to what a woman says, she’ll give you all the information you need to seduce her,” For example, you might say to a woman, “If I were to ask you” the implication being that you’re not really asking “what’s the most important thing in a relationship, how would you describe it to me?” In listening to her response, you would pay particular attention to her “trance” words the words she puts particular emphasis on or repeats frequently (e.g., “I want a man who makes me feel comfortable with myself”) then simply mirror her answers to her in the same language: “Wouldn’t it be nice if you could spend time with a man who makes you feel like you could let down your guard and just be comfortable? Whose voice soothed and at the same time stimulated you? I get the feeling that this could happen to you right now, with me.”
Sincerity is everything. And once you learn how to fake that, you’ve got it made.
what to say if a woman cancels a date at the last minute:
‘Look, you made a commitment to spend time with me and now you’re blowing me out. You’re disrespecting me and my time and I’m not going to put up with it. My rule is, if someone makes a commitment to me, I expect them to keep it. If they can’t keep it, I need to know at least a day in advance. Got it?’
Then hang up.
cont’d
Power Attitudes of sexual aggression.
1. Never attach excess meaning to winning or losing with women.
2. Consistently display willingness to walk away.
3. Think: being with me is the best possible choice any woman can make.
4. Give a woman a little bit of what she wants, and then pull back and make her work for more.
ideal for using on strangers - especially waitresses, cashiers and women in shopping malls. It is also suitable in situations when you are limited to a brief encounter.
the sort of girls most likely to fall for such psychological manipulation are New Age women who hang out in bookshops, gourmet food shops or coffee shops, and the very worst are those in nightclubs and bars, as they tend to be on the defensive.
How he teaches his pupils to get a woman into bed in ten minutes:
Rule 1:
The first speed seducer giveaway is if a strange man in a coffee shop tries a line like ‘I have an intuition about you’ or ‘I know something about you.’ Jeffries advises men to eavesdrop on their prey before making an approach, so the woman thinks he understands her. Another technique is to listen in on a woman’s conversation with somebody else, remember any key phrases she leans on or repeats, and then feed them back to her.
Rule 2:
The next step is for the man to establish in the woman’s mind an emotional connection to him. Once that is achieved, he is advised to ‘move in for the kill with any number of sexual accelerator patterns’. Brief conversational ‘fluff’ (i.e. witty small talk) is used to get the woman laughing, then followed up very quickly by the first lethal Jeffries ‘mind punch’, known as ‘How To Induce A Hypnotic Trance In Three Minutes And Never Get Caught.’
A novice speed seducer will offer a variation on the following line, raising and lowering the tone of his voice to fill the woman’s mind with subconscious commands: ‘You know that feeling when you have an Instantaneous connection with someone [probably points to himself]? You know, that mysterious link that just makes you feel like you’ve known someone for ever… like you were meant to know them… and it’s almost as if your future’s right in front of you… when you feel that… it’s almost like a physical click…?’ and so on.
Instead of airing the subject of sex in the open, Jeffries advises men to use sexual metaphors subliminally, so that the woman imagines the experiences for herself - the feeling is therefore much more powerful, as she feels the thought is her own, not his.
The first important step in Jeffries’ technique is building self-confidence. “You’ve got to start with yourself. If you’re not feeling good, then you can’t make someone else feel good. So I teach guys how to design powerful self-images. You can take a guy who’s an air traffic controller, who has incredible focus, who can deal with incredible stress, and put him in front of a Penthouse pet in a thong bikini, all oiled up, and he won’t be able to put two words together. That’s an altered state of consciousness. Everything I do is designed around altered states of consciousness - designing an altered state of consciousness for yourself and building altered states for them. I teach guys to build clarity, so they know what to look for; thoroughness, so they do everything they need to; fun, so they have a sense of humor about it; and ferociousness so they really go for it.”
The second step is to use “suggestive languaging” to guide a woman’s imagination. “A lot of this is being vague. Being vague is very hypnotic. If I said to a woman, ‘The reason you should fall in love with me is that I’m very funny and I’m a great dancer and I’m really good in bed’, the average girl is not going to buy that. But if I said, [takes a deep breath] ‘I don’t know what it is you think about when you just stop and you go inside and you consider the ideal man you want to be with and you begin to imagine exactly what it would be like to be with this person, to feel all the things you really want to feel for all the right reasons, but I’ll tell you something, when I’m with a woman like that and they begin to see the possibilities of having all that with me, what a difference in the way they think’. And the amazing thing is, after they’ve banged you they’ll say. ‘I don’t know how you were able to tell me exactly what I was looking for in a guy, but you just laid it out word for word’. When in fact, I didn’t say a thing. I was very vague. Part of the skill is being vague and using sexual metaphor - ‘open’, ‘penetrate’, ‘come inside’, ‘surrender’ , ‘feel a powerful happiness’, ‘below me’, whatever.”
According to Jeffries, using such phrases as “feel a big happiness inside” (pronounced “hap-penis”) or “below me” (pronounced “blow me”) will invoke in your victim an uncontrollable urge to do just that. “It works at the end of a chain of suggestions and descriptions that evoke all these sexual and emotional states,” Jeffries elucidates. “If I’m building all this stuff and her unconscious mind is thinking ‘sex, love, emotions’ and then I say ‘below me’, it’s phonetic ambiguity. You don’t know if I’m saying blow or below. The mind will pick the one that’s consistent with train of thought that came before.”
Modulating the tones of one’s voice is another facet of the speed seduction technique. This basically involves putting on a deep, mellifluous voice and speaking slowly and rhythmically. Presumably, this helps to hypnotize the victim, though if you’re not careful it may just put them to sleep. Body language is also important. From what I can gather this mostly consists of pointing at your crotch a lot.
“Part three,” continues Jeffries, “are the frameworks that make it sound like an ordinary conversation - you can’t just walk up to a woman and start talking about her deepest emotions. She’ll slap your face. I’ve created conversational frames that allow you to bring up the most outrageous and wild topics and make it sound like normal conversation.”
very questionable practice to say the least…
hahaha…2 bad i am not a lesbian…
thedoorofthehell于2005-09-24写道:
hahaha…2 bad i am not a lesbian…
how so? what would you do if you were a lesbian?
*** QUESTION ***
Hi Jeffy,
Many thanks for your latest newsletter. The information got me
thinking of a point I had heard elsewhere:
Techniques are good, but unless the principle behind them is
understood they will not have much impact. For instance,
imagine two people telling the same joke; those who understand
body language, voice tone, presentation, composure etc. will
have far more success than the unknowledgable individual.
Thus, it’s not the actual techniques, but the beliefs behind
them.
If possible I would appreciate response to a question. In
viewing others communicate with women, a successful technique I
see is ‘funny and arrogance’. With your array of knowledge, I’m
sure you’re aware of such ‘formula’.
I’ve noticed this works great for the average or below average
looking guy. However, physically attractive men tend to be
perceived as players using this. I fit into the latter.
Obviously there is more to attraction than being able to use
this technique and well, who cares if I’m perceived as a player.
It is however, fun. Others have recommended to focus more on
the funny side of the ‘formula’. I have tried interacting with
women (still a beginner) using such advise and women seem to
enjoy it. I still feel more comfortable, however, using ‘funny
and arrogance’ in equal doses.
What would be your advice on this area?
Many thanks,
C.M.
Dundee, Scotland.
MY REPLY:
CM, your comments about understanding the principles behind the
techniques are dead-on. Without that understanding, guys
sometimes spew out these lines and it sounds utterly retarded,
like they might as well be reading them off a piece of paper
held up in front of their face. Literally. It’s that bad.
We’re talking BAD, like that William Hung guy from “American
Idol” singing “She Bangs.”
This goes back to the concept of congruence, which essentially
means “not putting on a front.”
See, in most people there are TWO identities: the persona they
put out to the world, and the inner core. And there’s usually a
gap between the two. This is INCONGRUENCE.
If you are incongruent, you will come off as bizarre and
uncalibrated. If you are congruent, nobody will question you. You
can get away with anything.
This is why I, a white guy with a pot belly, can wear a THUG LIFE
tattoo and get away with it. I’m totally congruent with it.
It’s not cool, it’s weird.
The difference is… I MAKE IT COOL.
But let’s move on to your question about arrogance and humor.
This is a common thing I hear from guys who are stereotypically
“good-looking.”
They bust out all of these cocky, arrogant remarks and they
get labelled a “player.” Thus, they end up getting shut out of
a lot of sets they could have otherwise OWNED.
The solution is CALIBRATION.
When you’re in set, you have to constantly feel out the target
to see where her PERCEIVED value is in relation to yours, and
adjust your tone accordingly.
If she has a higher value at that particular moment, then you
turn up the arrogance to bring her down to your level. In other
words, you consciously break rapport with her.
Conversely, if she’s at a lower perceived value, you turn it
down and focus more on the “funny” side, or adjust your tone
so you are TRYING for rapport with her.
Let me tell you a story that illustrates this.
One night, I was out at karaoke… again. I’m on stage singing
Air Supply, busting out all the stops, killer performance, chicks
are rushing the stage and so forth.
I get off the stage afterwards, and my friend gestures to these
chicks off to the side, and says, “Dude. These chicks LOVE you,
they were sitting there the whole time talking about how awesome
you are.”
I look at them, and they’re like 7s. Okay, whatever, there’s
nothing else better in the place, so I figure I’ll go for it.
I start to approach the group, but they see me coming up, and
one of them comes up to ME.
I high five, and hold her hand. She holds it there, she has a
big smile on her face. Great!
So, I launch an opinion opener to get the ball rolling, then
I gently bust on her answer.
She drops my hand.
Okay, I continue, I make little cocky comments, I call her a
“dork.”
She stops smiling.
Then, the coup de grace. I ask her, “So, what are you guys
doing here?”
She loses it.
“What the FK! That’s a rude question!! Why would you say that?
RUDE!!" And she’s all freaking out, she goes back to her
friends and starts yelling and gesturing towards me, then she
storms out of the bar.
Now, on a scale of one to ten, when I asked what they were doing
there, one being: “Excuse me, milady, perchance if I may inquire
as to what has brought thou and your lovely companions to this
particular establishment tonight, if I may be so bold?” and
ten being: "What the fk are YOU doing here, bitch! -spit-”,
my tone was probably a 6.5, tops. Slightly cocky.
But that was enough. See, coming off the stage with mad social
proof, and the fact that they were less-attractive, made
my value super high at that point.
THEN, for me to bust out this cocky stuff, I shot myself in the
foot.
I could have gotten laid that night, if I just chilled and acted
like a normal chode and tried for rapport with her.
Instead, I had to go home and bang my girlfriend. Lame!
The moral of the story is this: all sets are different, and your
relative value in them is constantly shifting.
It’s up to YOU to dynamically calibrate on the fly and adjust
your tone accordingly. That’s the mark of the professional
pickup artist.
It’s not really that hard once you know what you’re looking
for… and as long as you’re not wasted on scotch. Believe me,
I’ve lost many a set that way. Scotch in, calibration out the
window.
Anyway, hope that gives you an idea of where to go from here.
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-10-18 00:06 ]
What Women Really Want
There are a ton of pop psychology books and magazines out there
that claim to know what women want from a man. Most of them have never
bothered to ask a real woman’s opinion. These articles are based on catchy titles
and what they believe you all want to hear.
If you want coddling or false promises this newsletter is not for
you. If, on the other hand, you can stand some blunt truths about
what women really and truly want then pull up a chair
and get ready for the real scoop on what we are looking for.
Myth #1 Women want a sensative man
Sensative is fine but there are very few women around that want a
wimp who can do nothing but talk about his feelings. Yes, we want you to share the
important things but every fight and meal should not turn into a therapy session.
We want a man who will actually pay attention to us but can also take charge. Make
a decision on a date instead of playing the what do you want to do game. If she really
dislikes the idea you can modify it but at least show up with a plan.
Myth #2 You have to look like the Calvin Klien model or have
Trump’s bank account to get gorgeous women.
Wrong again. In this department men have it easy. Yes, we love it
when you work out and show that you take care of yourself but a man
can win a woman over with wit, humor or by just plain paying attention.
We have all seen average looking guys with complete knockouts.
Woman have types just like men do. Except we have more levels. Some women
love brainy guys, even if he looks like he spent the last ten years in front of a computer.
Others find a man with a great sense of humor as the ultimate aphrodisiac. Never assume
that you are not her type. You might be missing out on some great opportunities.
As for the cash, yes it helps but it also depends on the age and
background of the woman. A twenty year old will be less likely to
think far enough ahead to check out your bank account.
At that age we are a bit more romantic and truly believe you can live on love.
A mid thirties and above woman will be more on track with her own life and
expect you to at least have a plan about the future.
If you both come from the same economic background, this can be a
major bonding tool. You both have the same expectations on what you
want out of life and more importantly what you expect out of
life and each other.
Myth #3 Dinner and a Movie are the ultimate date
Sorry guys this becomes just as boring for us, as it probably does
for you. A man who shows a bit of ingenuity in picking a date wins alot more
points in her book.
Ex. I can’t remember even a tenth of the movie dates I went to but
the gondola ride that one of my exes planned in Miami still sticks in
my mind. The fact that the dinner we had before hand was a lower budget
one didn’t matter one bit to me, when he spent the difference
arranging this ride.
What Women Really Think
Does Size Matter?
Yes, for some women it does but even this can be got around if you know what you are doing in bed. Focus on her body and giving her pleasure and she will think
you have the biggest schlong on the planet.
Learn your woman’s body.
Women have erogenous zones all over our bodies. Don’t just focus on her breasts and what’s between her legs.
That soft spot in back of her knee could set her toes curling. The skin under her arms
can be incredibly sensative as well. This is unchartered territory for most women. If
you can help her discover a new source of pleasure who do you think she will be saving
her Saturday nights for?
Toes are a hot spot for some women and ears for others. Each woman is different. Explore
her body slowly and pay attention to her reaction. If you see that she has stopped breathing
for a second or gasps when you hit a certain spot go back to it again. If you see
that she winces when you pinch her nipple try a gentler touch.
Women are soft and supple and beautiful.
Treat her as if you love every inch of her and she will love every inch of you.
When should you call?
By some miracle you have just received her number, do you race to the phone to call?
1)Unless there has been serious misunderstanding where she thought you got it three days
ago wait a bit. Give her time to be nervous and excited about it. A couple of hours is
good, unless it is late at night. If you receive it at night at some party or club, wait
until the next morning to call. She might not appreciate being woken in the middle of
the night.
2)If you have had a date with her and want to schedule your next one or just want to talk to
her.Call her the next day, no excuses. Women hate it when men call several days later. Also
if you aren’t going to call again let her know that you like her but the chemistry isn’t there.
She may not be happy but at least she won’t hate your guts.
3)You two have broken up and even though you still think she is wrong want to get back together
with her.
Give her time to cool down ( an hour or two is usually good) then pick up the phone.
If you let her stew too long she can convince herself that she never wants to see
you again.