MY COMMENTS:
YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING WHAT’S GOING ON!
THIS WOMAN ACTUALLY LIKES YOU, AND YOU’RE
SCREWING IT ALL UP BY ACTING LIKE A NEEDY WUSS
BAG!
If you were closer, I’d slap you myself.
DUH!
Whew. Let me calm myself. As you know, I don’t
usually get so worked up. That makes three
exclamation marks in one email, and I haven’t even
started lambasting you proper yet. (What is
lambasting, anyway? And is that how you spell it?
It’s such a great word. I really should look and
find out.)
OK, I’m calm.
NOW, let’s have a little talk here…
The reason why this kind of situation bothers
me is at least twofold:
1) Because I’ve been in it myself about a
bazillion and a half times, and it sucks to be
screwing something up and not even realize that
you’re doing it.
2) I can tell from your email that you actually
like this girl A LOT, and that she’s probably a
fantastic woman… and I hate to see you working
so hard against yourself… and screwing this up
when it’s right there in front of you for the
taking.
Before I tell you all the reasons why you most
DEFINITELY should invest in my Advanced Dating
Techniques program, let me give you a few pointers
that might help you STOP screwing this up in the
meantime.
OK, back to the basics.
Let’s take this from the top…
At the very beginning of your email, you said
something that basically telegraphed EXACTLY what
was going on here…
You said “…I think I’ve met “the one,” but
I’m having trouble making her realize this. I’ve
been pursuing her for about five months…”
You’re having trouble making her REALIZE this?
You’ve been PURSUING her?
Do you assume that at some point within the
NEXT five months that she’s going to wake up one
day and feel a powerful ATTRACTION for you because
you like to chase her around and tell her how you
feel about her?
Normally I’d make fun of you here, and tell you
that you don’t get it… blah blah blah.
But for some reason I feel like I just have to
lay things out for you directly.
Look, man… the reason why she’s telling you
that she “doesn’t know why it hasn’t evolved into
something romantic” is that she doesn’t FEEL IT.
She doesn’t FEEL IT.
Get it?
SHE DOESN’T FEEL IT!
She doesn’t feel ATTRACTION for you.
And you can’t CONVINCE her to feel it by
chasing her around and telling her how you “feel”
about her.
Attraction, as I always say, ISN’T A CHOICE.
You’re acting like most guys who think things
like: “If she only knew how I felt about her,
she’d feel the same way” and “If I keep pursuing
her, she’ll eventually see how much I love her”
etc.
Well guess what?
AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN, HOMEY.
Right now you are playing what is referred to
as a “losing game”.
Think of it this way. If you stop on the way
home from work every day and buy a lottery ticket,
you’ll win once in awhile. Hell, you might even be
lucky one day and win big.
But your chances SUCK.
You’re probably going to lose a LOT more than
you win over time.
Like I said, you COULD win big. There is a
chance. But you probably won’t. And I mean
probably with a BIG P.
I refer to the way that you’re acting as “Being
a Wussy” (that’s the technical term… made it up
myself).
When you act like a Wussy, you do things like:
-Pursue -Cling -Share “feelings” -Act
submissive - Seek approval -Pine away
This is WUSSY behavior.
It’s distinctly FEMININE in nature.
When guys act like this, they’re getting in
touch with their inner little girl (and she needs
a spanking in the worst way).
And are you ready for the WORST, WORST part?
When you act like this around a woman (and
ESPECIALLY a “goal oriented” woman who’s probably
smart and powerful like yours) they CANNOT feel
the emotion of ATTRACTION towards you.
Women aren’t attracted to Wussies.
This is a UNIVERSAL truth.
And by the way that you describe your
relationship with this woman, SHE REALLY WANTS TO
BE ATTRACTED TO YOU!
She’s trying, man.
And she probably KNOWS that you’d be a great
guy to be in a relationship with… but she just
doesn’t FEEL IT… so she holds back. I’m sure she
WISHES that she could be attracted to you. I’ll
bet you money.
Look, you need to STOP acting like a nice
friend guy Wuss IMMEDIATELY if you want this to
turn into something.
You’re probably beyond help with this
particular woman, but I’m going to give you a few
ideas JUST IN CASE…
1) Stop calling her all the time (if you do),
and stop spending so much time with her.
2) Start dating other women IMMEDIATELY, and
make sure she knows about it.
3) Stop being all lovey with her, and don’t
tell her how you “feel about her” anymore. Stop it.
4) Accept that you will probably be friends
with her forever, and start acting that way.
5) Don’t try to kiss her or be physical with
her at ALL anymore until you understand what you’re
doing.
Remember, what you’re doing ISN’T WORKING.
If you do these things that I’ve described, you
will probably have the best chance of turning this
around.
“How To Get More Numbers & Emails From Women”
Jun 14 2005
QUESTION
ok here is the deal…
i’m 23, 5’7" and a relatively good looking and
successful fashion designer. i don’t date to much,
and because of my usually respectful mannerism i
don’t get laid too often and usually end up in
that “gay friend” category.
but i’ve kinda got my eye on a cutie who works at
a trendy clothing store in my hood. it initially
was one of those things where we shared a glace
and did the whole “eye ball sex” thing the first
time i came into the shop. i frequent this store
regularly to help promote and do some p.r. for a
club night my friends are doing, (not to mention
check out the… uh… merchandise?) so i have
actually spoke to her and got her name and even
convinced her to come out to the club a few times
(on my guest list of course).
the thing is i’m not very comfortable about
“macking” girls in clubs and try to avoid it at
all costs, so my question is how do i go from
cheezy promoter guy dropping off flyers and free
passes, to say… getting her to come watch
“videos” at my place or even just a phone # for
that matter?
giving me a way to find out if she is single would
be cool too…"
MY COMMENTS:
The easiest thing in the world to do in your
current situation is to say “Hey, do you have
email?”
Most people do, and if she says yes, just pull
out a piece of paper and have her write it down.
Then, WHILE SHE’S WRITING, say “And write your
number down there too.” This is one of my favorite
one-two combinations.
Then, the next day, send her an email and tell
her that she should get together with you for a
cup of tea and some stimulating conversation. This
is both easy and charming, and it works like,
well… a charm.
And for heaven’s sake man, start getting the
email and digits from the probably MILLIONS OF
BABES that you meet in the fashion industry and
while promoting clubs. Heck, if you don’t want
them, send them to me.
QUESTION
Hi Dave!
I enjoy reading your writing.
I dated a lot and fooled around quite a few, but I
have fallen for this girl, and I made a mistake by
telling her, not once but twice, how much I feel
for and want her before she revealed her feeling
toward me. Consequently she told me later on that
she would like to do casual dating with me. And
recently I found out that she is seeing two or
three other guys simultaneously. GUYS OUT THERE,
REMEMBER THIS. NEVER REPEAT MY MISTAKE!!!
Having recognized my error and conceded defeat, I
want to cut my loss by telling her this weekend in
a face to face meeting that I don’t want to see
her any longer. But I can’t forget her and keep
wondering if I should make one more effort to win
her back. I guess I am a regular human being,
suffering from loss of her love.
Should I change my mind, what techniques can I use
to win her back?
Or I should simply walk away from her and forget
everything about her?
Your advice would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
B.
MY COMMENTS:
As far as your situation goes, I would get on
with my life, don’t call her anymore, and if she
decides to call you sometime, turn the tables
around, start playing hard to get, and NEVER ACT
LIKE A WUSS AGAIN PLEASE.
It’s a hard job I have poking fun at the pain of
others… all for their own good.
QUESTION
Dave “THE MAN”,
I just want to first thank you or rather
compliment you, just like everyone else has done,
on your successful book which has helped me
tremendously. It has led me to become VERY VERY
confident in myself and around other girls. Once
again, thank you Dave. Anyway, on to my question
that literally drives me crazy!!! This girl that
I’m interested in has email but NEVER checks it
because, according to what she says her computer
doesn’t work. Go figure. But she did give me her
cell phone number and house phone number. The
problem is that every time I call her we talk for
about 10-15 min. and she says that she’ll call me
back later but NEVER does. i mean NEVER!! is this
because she is playing hard to get or does it mean
that i am just wasting my time and she is not
interested and should i just give up on her
completely? how can i become the one who’s in
control and have HER chasing ME instead of ME
chasing HER??? How could i get her to start
calling me? If you can answer this question then
it will be one less thing for me to worry about
when dealing with women and I will definitely
consider you “THE MAN”. Thanks
-R.
MY COMMENTS:
Where in my eBook or newsletters have you EVER
heard me say to talk on the phone for 10-15
minutes? Exactly, nowhere. Why do you think this
is?
Because the more time you spend TALKING at the
very beginning (when getting her email and number,
while on the phone setting up the next meeting,
etc.) the more likely you are to screw it up.
Don’t waste time!
Getting her email and digits should take 3-5
minutes or so. Setting up a place to get together
should take about the same.
You need to call up and say “Hey, I don’t have
long to talk, but I wanted to touch base and say
hi. I’m going to be busy today and tomorrow night,
but let’s get together Saturday for a cup of tea
and some stimulating conversation…”
Bang, done.
QUESTION
Hi David,
I’ve been reading your emails for quite some time
and recently just bought your e-books. I commend
you on what you are doing for the many hundreds
and possibly thousands of men like me who are
trying to increase our game. I just started a new
job at a hotel on campus. There’s this one girl
who find very attractive. My question is is it ok
to date or ask out someone you work with? I’ve
only worked with her once, but I felt an
attraction to her and although I’m not sure if
she’s attracted, there may be the possibility of
it, which means there is something for me to work
with. What are your thoughts? Thanks S.
MY COMMENTS:
Don’t date your close neighbors, don’t date
anyone related to a close friend, and DON’T DIP
YOUR PEN IN THE COMPANY INK. All of these are VERY
likely to wind up being bad long-term investments.
Better idea: Tease and use all of your best
cocky/funny ideas on this girl… great target
practice. At some point one of you will probably
no longer work for the same company, and at that
point she will like you so much that you will have
fish in a barrel for the shooting.
COMMENT
yo david!
this is the greatest stuff i have ever seen. its
soooooo easy and yet, until it dawns on you, it
seems frustrating. all you nice guys know what i’m
talking about…no sex? girls don
MY COMMENTS:
You know, you’d make a great walking billboard
for my… the problem is that you sound like a
late night info-mercial and I don’t think anyone
would believe you…
But seriously, you are right.
It would never cross the minds of most guys to
look at a stunning woman and say “Are you trying
to pick me up?”
If I’m at a bar talking to a woman, and she
gives me any kind of compliment, hints that she
likes me, tells me that I’m funny, etc. I’ll say:
“Look, I know how you women are. First a little
compliment, then you’re asking me for my number,
then you want me to come home with you to “check
out your new stereo” or something. I just want you
to know that I’m not that kind of guy, and I won’t
fall for it.”
Oh, I love it.
QUESTION
Dave,
I haven’t had success like this with women in my
life. You sure know your stuff. I’ve read your
book about 10 times and I’m still reading it. But
I do have one question though. I have a major
downfall when it comes to communication with
women. I do good at approaching them and I usually
say “Hey, how’s it goin’?”, but I CAN’T FIND
ANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT. That’s my downfall. If I
can keep a conversation going that could the best.
But I’m lacking skills in that part, and like you
said, your success all comes down to your skills.
Well Dave, I need a new skill. Can you please help
me. Any feedback will be much appreciated.
~J.
MY COMMENTS:
You’re going to love this answer.
Don’t “talk” about anything at all. Tease, make
fun, act cocky and funny, and get the
email/digits.
The idea that you have to “talk about
something” will lead you to a curious dry feeling
between your legs…
师父～～受徒弟一拜～～！！！ 
终于有人愿意现身啦 
:
it’s absolute fun isn’t it
Overcoming Fear, Making Out With Women
Jun 22, 2005
SUCCESS STORY
David, you are absolutely the MAN! Everything you
say is right on the button, even the stuff that is
harder to accept and work into the routine. My
biggest struggle has been that I can always use
the C&F routine great at first, but the more we
talk, the less I use it, and I start to revert
back to my old self. That’s right when she starts
to turn colder. Last night was great though,
because I kept busting this girl’s balls all night
long. Here’s the story:
I’ve recently started talking on line to an ex
that I dated for over a year and a half, and broke
up with just more than a year ago. I finally
convinced her to make the hour-and-a-half drive to
come up and visit me, last night. When she got
here, before even saying hello, I busted on her
for taking so long to get to my apartment, and
just kept turning the heat up all night- I figured
that I probably won’t see her for a while again,
so I’ve got nothing to lose. I continued to make
fun of her and pick on her all night. We made
potato soup for dinner, and when I was peeling the
potatoes I started flicking the skins at her. She
started throwing them back, and I made her pick up
all the mess, and blamed it all on her. I’ve got
a cat and she has a dog- as soon as I mentioned
how smart my cat is, she said her dog was smarter,
because he could roll over, stand up, and sit at
command, and my cat couldn’t. I asked her if she
would do those things if I told her to, so when
she said “no” I asked her if that meant that she
was also stupider than her dog is. From that
point on, all night she had a look on her face of
utter amazement and confusion- it was as if I
could actually hear her thinking, “I can’t believe
that I’ve lost all the control- but somehow,
inexplicably, I love it!” (When she and I were
dating, she had ALL the control.) Later she took
off her rings and handed them to me while she put
lotion on- I refused to give them back to her for
the better part of an hour. I hid the rings in by
back pocket, and finally told her that she
couldn’t have them unless she could find where I’d
hid them- when she finally got to my back pocket,
I smacked her hand and told her not to touch my
ass- I wasn’t her plaything to violate like that.
Eventually she started whining to get her way
(that ALWAYS worked when we were together), so I
started talking to her like you would a 2-year-
old, calling her a poor baby that’s just not going
to survive, is she? She asked me if I was
patronizing her, and I gave her a great big hug
and in an even more patronizing tone said, “No, of
course not- I would NEVER patronize YOU!” She
absolutely ate it up. She had been begging me all
night for one of my massages- she claims I give
the best ones in the world. So finally at the end
of the night, I told her that I would be willing
to give her one. Her back massage quickly turned
into a full body massage- I mean full body. All
night I had gotten closer and closer to kissing
her, without actually doing so- I did the whole
thing with brushing my lips against hers, and all.
At the end of the night, I finally let her kiss me
on my terms, and MAN did she dig in. It was
great. In one night, I turned a girl that had
broken up with me for being a doormat wussy into a
girl that absolutely cannot get enough of me and
wants me back like none other. She brought up a
friend, and she and my roommate entertained each
other and were witness to the evening. Even the
two of them couldn’t believe how absolutely in
control of her I was, and how much she was loving
it. Throughout the night, her friend kept pushing
me for info as to whether or not I was willing to
take her back. She wants me, I’m in total
control, and we both love it!
Sorry this one is so long, but I just had to tell
you! Thanks for everything, David- I FINALLY GET
IT!! No matter what, just keep it up, and you’ll
reap the rewards. You’re great!
~T. in CO
COMMENT FROM A WOMAN
First of all, I am a WOMAN, and I want to let you
know that your tips to men are absolutely right
on! I read your “dating tips” email every single
time I receive it, and find it extremely amusing.
I can tell you right now that I know a man who is
absolutely driving me crazy while ( I believe
unknowingly), using your techniques. He is NOT
the greatest looking guy I know, nor is he
appealing in what you might call a typical way.
He is so interesting because, while I know he is
interested in me, he is NOT at all obnoxious about
it- not demanding, not wimpy. Just cool. He tosses
cocky comments at me, he does not HANG all over
me- keeps a little distance, but always returns.
He surprises me. He is INTERESTING!!! He sends
me gifts occasionally, but not on the right day-
for instance: Valentines- I get a call two days
after the day- he says “o yeah, I havent got
around to it yet, but I have something for you-
maybe I can stop by today and drop it off” Then he
will come by when I am not even there and leave it
with my secretary. Other times, he so obviously
responds to something I said, (like a preference I
have for some place) and acts on it LATER. He
doesn’t jump on everything I say with an instant
response, trying to “get” me. I don’t know
exactly what to expect next, and he has me
mesmerized! I will add, though that he has
manners, and is a gentleman- NOBODY likes an rude
a**hole trying to pass for cocky and funny! Trust
me, I run into guys hitting on me all the time.
The typical “in your face” stuff just makes me
want to get away from them. No matter HOW he does
it, a guy that is too DIRECT (either aggressively
or obviously passively) gets NO CHANCE. Any man
who wants to attract a decent woman and keep her
attracted would do well to utilize your
techniques.
s.l.
MY COMMENTS:
I love women who always tell me that I’m
right… lol.
You mentioned something that I don’t bring up
very often, but it’s a great way to be “generous”
and “thoughtful”.
Now, before I talk about this, keep in mind
that this isn’t something to do with a woman
you’ve just met. Save this for later, after you’ve
been out several times.
This is the kind of thing you do with a woman
you REALLY like and might be interested in
pursuing a relationship with…
Your quote above said:
“…Other times, he so obviously responds to
something I said, (like a preference I have for
some place) and acts on it LATER…”
If a woman mentions that she wants to go to a
particular restaurant, make a mental note, then
surprise her and go there a few weeks later.
Remembering things, then acting on them later
as a SURPRISE makes a huge impact. It’s a very
considerate thing to do.
But like I said, this is something you do with
a woman that you really like. Not in the
beginning!
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-06-23 04:40 ]
QUESTION
Hi David,
I was just wondering if you think it’s a good idea
to call a woman before a date to confirm or should
I just show up at her doorstep and hope shes
there? A while ago I had a date with a woman and
I didn’t call before I left to pick her up then
when I got to her house she wasn’t there. Do you
call before the date to confirm?
Z. From Florida.
MY COMMENTS:
You know, it’s been so many years since I’ve
gone out to a woman’s house and picked her up for
a first date, I can’t even remember.
I recommend that you DO NOT do something
expensive and typical like going and picking a
woman up, taking her to dinner, etc. for a first
date.
Instead, either:
1) Have her come to your place, and leave for a
cup of tea from there.
2) Meet her at a coffee shop that’s CLOSE to your
place, and if she flakes out, you can still enjoy
yourself and you’re not far from home.
Another rule of thumb I have is to not make a
date too far in advance.
I’ve found that often times, you can call a
woman up and say “Let’s go get a cup of coffee
RIGHT NOW”.
It’s rare that I would ever make plans more
than a day in advance… this also helps prevent
flaking.
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-06-23 04:42 ]
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-06-23 04:45 ]
a romantic story for a change
SUCCESS STORY
Hey David,
Man, do I got a success story to share with you.
Anyways without really thinking about it for the
past year I had teased this girl about a lot of
stuff, and basically puton the impression that I
didn’t care whether I dated her or not. Yah I
liked her, but I had dated a few other girls since
I met her.
So with that said, the most awesome thing happened
today.
We do a lot of training together like lift weights
at our campus gym, jog between 3-5 kilometers at
least 3 times a week together and do other
athletic stuff together. We get along extremely
well together.
Today when we were at the running track together
after school, she challenged me to 200 meter race.
I said sure, well lets just say she kicked the
living snot out of me today. She must have had a
lot of adrenaline going cause she beat me by about
5 seconds which is A LOT in that kind of a race.
So as we walked back to the school she started
making fun of me like crazy, saying haha you got
beat by a girl, I hammered you and basically every
other insult she could think of. I just smiled at
her and didn’t let her know that she beat me fair
and square.
When we got back into school, it wasn’t that busy.
As we walked down the hallway, I said “you know, I
let you win”.
She shot back with “No you didn’t I beat you fair
and square”.
To this I replied “If I was really trying you
couldn’t beat me on your best day”.
This upset her a little cause she is so
competitive. So she said “Your just ashamed cause
you got beat by a girl”.
To this I answered “Oh no kidding, your a girl.
WOW all this time we were training together I
could have sworn you were a boy”
Then things heated up a little, and she smoked me
with a punch right on my right arm.
When she did that I just smiled at her and said
“You just did that cause you like me”.
“Oh shut up” she said in a funny sarcastic tone.
“Hope it didnt hurt wuss boy” she said right after
that. I had never heard her talk like that
before, but from your teachings I knew that what
was going on was extreme flirting.
Then I decided to heat the fire even more so I
said “I dare you to hit me again”. - By this time,
although I hadnt realized it, we were at a
complete stop nearly right up against a locker.
So she hit me again, just like I dared her to.
But it wasnt a hard hit, it was just enough to
connect with my shoulder at. So I kind of grabbed
her arm and looked at her in the eyes sharply.
Then suddenly we both went in to kiss each other
at the same time. (This was our first kiss).
She kissed me so hard, intensely and so
passionately that I thought her lips were going to
fall off. She almost seemed like she was quaking
and shivering as she made out with me madly
against the locker. Thank God no one was around
at that time, they may have been burned in the
heat.
I have kissed a few girls in my life, but NONE had
kissed me that intensely.
After the fire went out, we both went to our
RESPECTIVE locker rooms and changed into our
regular clothes.
After we both changed we were walking down the
hallway again and she asked me if I wanted to eat
dinner in the food court with her, I said I
couldnt cause I had to go study for midterms.
(This was the truth actually, I did have to study,
but it probably also did WONDERS for me in the
challenge category.)
Before we parted ways for the day, she took my
hands and gazed up into my eyes and said “Do you
have any idea what I have been feeling these past
few months”.
I decided to keep my composure, so I just said
“Yah”, and I pulled her toward me and we kissed
again.
It was amazing like something out of a movie, I
couldn’t believe it happened. I have found
something great, and I won’t screw it up, because
I am to smart to screw it up, thanks largely to
your teachings and my own inner confidence.
Thanks man
K.J. -Detroit
MY COMMENTS:
I wish you could see the smile on my face right
now.
It’s one of those big, fake looking, won’t-go-
away smiles, too.
I’m even shaking my head a little.
I LOVE to read stories like this one. And it’s
so great to hear how you handled everything.
I wish that this story was a fable that all
boys had to learn as children… and know by heart
before they were allowed to talk to girls!
[NOTE: If you’re reading this right now, and
you don’t get what happened, print this out, and
read it every day until you do… it’s that good.]
Thanks for writing in.
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-06-23 04:43 ]
QUESTION
hey dave,
great stuff! it really works, yada, yada. let me
make this short and sweet. one of the things that
really works for me is whenever a girl says
“sorry”, i immediately say, “you should be.” no
matter what the situation is. it’s a great
conversation starter for me. for example, i live
on the 6th floor and this girl only lives on the
2nd floor, so when she saw me press the button for
6th floor, she said sorry. i then said,
automatically, “you should be. u know, u should
really try using the stairs once in a while. u
could use the exercise.” now mind you, this girl
has a great body. so anyway, got the info, and
it’s been going good.
now on to my question. spring break is almost
here, and i’m going away to cancun. now this girl
that i have a thing with - her b-day is in the
middle of spring break. now she keeps bugging me,
telling me she better get a phone call from
cancun, or she’s gonna be mad. i keep telling her,
“do u really expect me to remember, when i’m
gonna be drunk off my ass?” that’s just the plain
truth. now i’m thinking if, and it’s a big if, if
i actually remember her b-day, i’m actually
thinking of purposely not calling her, just 'cuz
she keeps bugging me about it. any thoughts?
especially on the aftermath – if she starts
acting all bratty? let’s say she calls me the day
after her b-day and starts giving me s**t, and i’m
still gonna be down in cancun?
thanx for helping out all the guys who need it.
sa from jersey
MY COMMENTS:
…lol… so you get to ask me a question, and
you want to know if you should call a girl from
Cancun on her Bday?
OK, well here goes.
If I were you, I’d buy one of those cheap
calling cards that lasts 3 minutes from Cancun,
and call her at Midnight (at the end of the day)
of her Bday.
Call her on a number that she probably won’t
answer, and leave her a message saying “Happy
Birthday. It’s nice to see that you were waiting
for my call… after I go to all the trouble to
call you from another country. OK, you suck. Bye!”
Of course, say it in a sarcastic, serious-
playful tone.
That should do the trick, my man.
And I love the “I’m sorry” comeback line of
“You should be”.
I actually use that line myself. I also say: “I
don’t want you to be sorry. Just don’t do it
again!”
Nice!
[ 编辑 gogatsu 在 05-06-23 04:44 ]