How To Keep A Woman Interested In You
Mar 31 2005
THIS WEEK’S QUESTION
Hi Dave,
Great stuff. The more I use it the better it works
and the more the women enjoy it. I’ll try to keep
this short. I’ve found that keeping C&F as the main
focus makes me (and the woman) much less nervous when
I’ve arrived at a woman’s house. For example, the
last girl I was with kept apologizing for how messy
her place was. Doesn’t she understand that I’m a guy
and I’m not looking at the stuff on the floor I’m just
planning to add what she’s wearing to the mess? Anyway,
I used a line from you and a fellow DYD fan and told
her not to apologize just not to let it happen again.
Instant karma. Kept it up and the clothes came off.
Well, this takes me to my question.
I met the messy apartment girl a few weeks ago, got
her number, called her a few days later and set up a
date. Things went swimmingly, used the C&F and ended
up at her place. All good. My question is, what is
your advice on calling after having spent the night
with a woman? Call her the next day, which is what
all my female friends say is the chivalrous (but possibly
wussy) thing to do? Wait a few days? And what if
one has decided not to give her everything she wants
on the first night and just fooled around? Same follow-up
policy? Should it always be a call or is email OK?
What should the tone be? C&F no doubt.
Cheers,
Less wussy more…
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, it sounds to me like you’re actually asking
a slightly different question than you have asked.
What I hear you asking is: “If I meet a girl that
I actually LIKE, what should I do after we first get
together to make sure that we KEEP getting together?”
And this is a great question.
I personally think:
1) Most guys “settle” for the women that they wind
up in long-term relationships with.
2) When you begin to understand women and have more
success, you start to realize that MOST women ARE
NOT the type that you’d be HAPPY with long-term.
3) When you have gone through the process of learning
how to be more successful with women and make them
feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION… and
then you finally DO meet a woman you really like,
you have to handle the situation in the right way
if you want to keep her.
You’ve asked me a whole bunch of specific questions,
like how long should I wait to call, whether to call
or email, tone, etc.
It sounds to me like you actually LIKE this particular
girl, and would like to pursue this in a “let’s see
if this turns into something” kind of way.
With that in mind, I think you need to realize
a few things about what a woman EXPECTS you to do…
If you’re dealing with an attractive woman, then
you must remember that you’re not the first guy who
has ever been interested in her.
In fact, she’s probably approached all the time
by guys, and she probably has a lot of experience
with guys who want to “get involved” with her.
This is one of those funny situations that works
in kind of a backwards way (not unlike many other
aspects of male/female relationships, actually).
If you meet an attractive girl, you can be pretty
sure of a few things:
1) She gets approached by men, one way or another,
all the damn time.
2) 99% of the men that she meets and dates wind up
following her around like puppies… either from the
beginning or eventually.
3) When a guy acts “too nice” and does it “too soon”,
she sees this as a sign of neediness and weakness,
and she’s repelled by it.
I realize that this is going to sound like some
kind of bizarre Zen self-help B.S., but sometimes
you have to push things away from you gently in order
to bring them to you.
And beautiful women fall into this category.
At my last couple of Double Your Dating LIVE!
Seminars, I asked a simple question:
“How do you make someone want something?”
Have you ever thought about that concept?
Why is it that people WANT things in the first
place, and how can you actually MAKE someone want
something?
When you think about the things that YOU want,
and then ask yourself WHY you want those things, you’ll
begin to realize why this is such a profound question.
Why is it that Coke has dominated the cola market
when we all know that Pepsi wins the taste tests?
Why is it that people in Los Angeles buy so many
four-wheel drive SUVs?
Why is it that some nightclubs keep people outside
in line for hours when there’s plenty of room inside
the club?
Well, I obviously can’t go into an in-depth explanation
of why these things are so, but I think it’s obvious
that:
1) Most of the things that people “want” aren’t for
the most logical reasons.
2) We humans only “want what we don’t have”… and
once we get what we want, we quickly get bored.
3) Even knowing that something is readily available
to us makes us lose interest.
So why such a long explanation?
Why not just tell you when to call her, what to
say, and what tone to use?
Because even if you know the exact right words
to say, and the exact right time to say them, the
woman you’re talking to will still be able to pick
up what you’re REALLY thinking if you don’t understand
how and why women become attracted to men.
Here are a few ways to make a person want something:
1) Create a challenge.
2) Give her a little, then lean back.
3) Give her the gift of missing you.
4) Be unpredictable.
When you create a challenge, you really ENGAGE a
woman’s mind and emotions.
Women don’t feel ATTRACTION for men that are push-over
Wuss Bags. Women feel ATTRACTION for men who are a
CHALLENGE.
When you give a woman a little bit, then lean back,
you set up a “Hey, I want more of that” situation.
If you just keep pouring on the attention and giving
her everything she wants, you’ll become uninteresting.
When you give a woman the “Gift of missing you”,
you realize that for women, thinking about, missing,
and anticipating the next time is often even more
powerful than the actual EXPERIENCE of “the next time”.
Men often get insecure, and feel that they have
to call and keep an eye on a woman all the time. This
is a huge mistake. It says all the wrong things.
When you’re UNPREDICTABLE, you do something that
is almost MAGIC… when a man understands how to make
a woman feel ATTRACTION, then he doesn’t do things
that are PREDICTABLE, women will tend to think about
him ALL THE TIME.
Things that are predictable don’t require much
thought. They’re uninteresting and boring.
Things that are UNPREDICTABLE, on the other hand,
require a LOT of thought. Unpredictable things are
FASCINATING to people… especially women.
What makes a movie lame?
Predictability.
What makes a movie great?
A well-written story that ISN’T predictable.
Predictability and BORING-NESS are the enemies
of ATTRACTION.
Here are a few thoughts on the questions you asked:
1) If you call her the next day, be cool about it.
Don’t try to be too “suave”, and don’t try to set
up another date immediately. Call and say “Hey, what’s
up?” Make a little small talk, then hang up. Lean
back, and she’ll be thinking about you for the next
several days (if you didn’t act like a dumb-ass the
night before, that is).
2) If you email, keep it light as well. In this day
and age, I find it natural to email or call.
3) Your TONE should be cool, calm, laid back, busy,
and upbeat. Never complain about things, whine, or
act like you’re in a bad mood and need attention.
4) Be very cool about this. Don’t act like you might
want to get married within 90 days, or like you’ve
met the woman of your dreams. Give her some space,
and the gift of missing you.
5) For the first 10 dates or so, don’t see her more
than once or twice a week. Stay busy with your life,
and always have things going on.
6) Until you decide that you really like a particular
woman and want to “settle down” with her, or have
a long-term relationship, don’t focus too much energy
on the relationship. If you’re dating other women,
don’t stop. When you focus all of your energy and
time on a woman that you’ve just met, it often creeps
them out and makes them run.
Use these concepts HOWEVER you decide to communicate
with her.
How To “Get Physical” With A Woman
Apr 2 2005
Men act like they would enjoy it if a woman just
took off her clothes and said “let’s do it”.
Women act like they want a man to chase them around
all night… and then MAYBE do it. Maybe.
So if you want her to feel more turned on, and
to get less “resistance”, then USE ANTICIPATION.
I have a technique that I teach that’s called “Two
steps forward, one step back”.
This is a way to INCREASE a woman’s sexual arousal
and AMPLIFY the ATTRACTION that’s already present
in the situation.
Here’s how it works:
Let’s say that you’re talking to a woman at your
place, and you start holding her hand.
After a few minutes, take your hand back and STOP.
Lean back.
Keep talking.
A few minutes later, reach over and take her hand
again… and keep talking.
Then, lean over and kiss her (use “The Kiss Test”,
as described at my website and in Double Your Dating).
After you’ve kissed her, STOP.
Lean back again.
Keep talking.
A few minutes later, reach over and kiss her again.
This time, kiss her for a little longer.
Kiss her a little deeper.
Then stop.
Lean back.
Smile.
ARE YOU WITH ME?
When you use this technique, you will be absolutely
STUNNED at the results.
First of all, it completely changes the situation.
Instead of a woman RESISTING you, she’ll be much
more likely to try to get you to DO MORE.
She’ll very likely be confused.
She’ll be thinking to herself “What’s going on
here? Most guys try to push themselves on me, or they
don’t do anything at all. This guy seems like he’s
so in control of himself. And I keep getting more
turned on. Maybe I should tell him that we’re not
going to sleep together tonight. But this is so great…”
And the best part of this technique is that IT’S
WHAT WOMEN WANT YOU TO DO!
Of course, they’d never TELL you this. And even
if a woman COULD explain it, she wouldn’t WANT to
tell you. Women want men who ALREADY GET IT.
Getting Women To “Pick YOU Up”
Apr 7 2005
THIS WEEK’S QUESTION
Hey David D!
Who says there’s no such thing as magic? When it comes
to women, cocky+funny is PURE 100% magic. It is one
of the major keys to getting her making her comfortable
with you, to getting her number, to getting the date,
kissing, getting laid, EVERYTHING! Your stuff is pure
platinum my man! Looking back on mailbags from over
a year ago, I still shake my head and say: “Man, this
guy is good. I cant wait 'till I am able to pull off
those lines like that!” The lines are so funny and
with cockyness, it just blows them away! Everytime
you do it, you can just FEEL the women responding
to you in a positive way and not trying to ignore
you or get away from you when you act like a wuss-bag.
They are always laughing and smiling and even THEY
tend to get touchy-feely, asking me for MY number
and then calling ME (of course, I always get their
numbers too) or asking me to call them, asking me
when we’re going out, and even asking ME for sex.
I could not believe it! And often, this could happen
within minutes or hours of meeting…not weeks, months,
or years like I once thought it took. I suggest all
guys especially the skeptics out there to get your
stuff. It works!
What I LOVE is how you say making it look like as
if a woman is picking YOU up. It sure takes the pressure
off of the situation. It’s all in the mindset. You
are not nervous because you know she wants you and
is trying to get you…not the other way around. Then
you act accordingly. Here’s just a few of the lines
I use:
“Look, just because you’re being sweet to me doesnt
mean I’m going to sleep with you. What? You thought
I was THAT easy? Cummon!”
(with women at work or women working somewhere) “How
can you possibly get any work done when you’re flirting
with me all the time? I know I’m a stud and all but
if you lose your job, dont think I’m going to support
you!”
(after seeing a woman) “I know we had fun, but please
dont become a stalker and call me 50 times a day or
else I’ll have the cops pay you a visit with a restraining
order in hand!”
(If a woman hints at sex or sometimes I’ll bring it
up)
“I dont know if I could have sex with you…what if
you could only last 2 minutes? I dont know if you
can even kiss…I tell you what, I’ll THINK about
it” (then I kiss her)
(cocky+funny for a common situation)
Her: “How are you?”
Me: “Well, I’ve been told I’m pretty damn good!” with
a ‘wink’
(If a woman walks past me)
Me: “What are you doing” (or where are you going?)
Her: “I’m going to such and such or I’m doing such
and such”
Me: “You’re a lousy liar……It’s really ok
to admit you were just trying to get a look at me…
and as long as you’re not a stalker, I may give you
a chance!”
(If she makes fun of herself) Her: “I’m such a retard”
or “My hair looks awful” or “My lipstick doesnt look
good does it?”
Me: “Well, I didnt want to say anything!” lol “But
I think those guys over there were thinking 'Whats
her problem? She’s so clueless!”
OR
Her: “My hair looks bad doesnt it?” (or any other
line where she makes fun of herself)
Me: “You can say that again!” (with a playful tone)
I love it! I love it! With this type of communication,
they react SO differently! A lot of times, they will
break down and admit they DO like me! And this keeps
you out of the “lets just be friends” category and
reduces the number of fake numbers and blow-offs you
get from women. It also keeps you from appearing “TOO
NICE”. AND I dont have to CHASE them anymore! It’s
a wonderful feeling. Now on the other hand, what if
you said:
“I bet you have a boyfriend, right?”
“Hey baby, you’re so beautiful!”
“Can I take you out sometime?”
“Oh, baby, there’s nothing wrong with you! You’re
gorgeous!”
AH! David, just like you say…THIS STUFF IS TERRIBLE!
Wuss, kiss-ass behavior at its best!
It’s so lame, so boring, and so wussie, and so blah!
Using cocky+funny, we can have more fun without sounding
like a loser plus women respond 1,000,000% times better
with cocky+funny. Probably only 1-2% of the male population
know what cocky+funny is and probably half of those
do it without realizing it. This type of communication
is DIFFERENT from what MOST guys do which makes you
stand out! But it’s a lot like water. For water (H20),
you need 2 hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. If not
then you get some other element you arent looking for.
You have to have the right mixture of cocky AND funny
or else it doesnt work as well (although sheer cockyness
with mild humor CAN work to a degree).
Now, I have a question and observation that is important
to me, David. SOMETIMES when I throw out a cocky+funny
response, they will say “Oh whatever!” or roll their
eyes or say you’re mean, get mad, or something like
that and walk away. This happens not often but on
rare occasions. These women are probably uptight anyways
and not worth getting know. When they say “whatever”
or “You’re so mean” and they’re laughing or smiling,
and they still keep talking to me, then I know it’s
working. Also, when you say something like: “…Oh
quit lying, you were just walking near me because you
want me” and they say “No, I dont want you” or “No
I wasnt, I was just doing _ _ _ _ _” in a semi-serious
tone, how do you respond to that to keep the cocky+funny
going? In other words, what do you do when they act
as if they ARENT picking you up?
Thanks a million Dave…you’ve changed my life forever…
seriously.
GT from Nashville, Tennessee
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, so let’s talk about the great comments that you’ve
shared, and then I’ll address your question…
I was amazed when I first realized that you could
actually turn the tables around, pretend that you’re
trying to “resist her advances”, and make fun of her
for trying to “put the moves on you”… and wind up
having the woman you’re talking to actually start
feeling attracted to you as a result.
It really is amazing.
Now, I know that a lot of guys hear this approach
and think “Yea, right. There’s no way that just pretending
that a woman is pursuing you will MAKE her pursue
you”…
But this isn’t just any old common way of “pretending”.
What you’re doing here is a very special, Cocky &
Funny, flirty, engaging way of pretending.
I’m sure you’ve watched the Discovery Channel, and
seen animals “play fighting”. It’s common among young
animals in particular.
Now, how do animals know that it’s only “play”, as
opposed to “real” fighting?
I mean, have you ever seen the way some animals, like
lion cubs and wolf pups jump on and bite each other?
It certainly LOOKS like real fighting.
But it’s not… it’s play.
Well there’s a very similar thing that happens when
you flirt with a woman using the Cocky & Funny technique…
and when you use this further to pretend that she’s
trying to “pick you up” and you’re “resisting her
advances”.
You have to use just a LITTLE EXTRA drama.
You have to be a little “overly suspicious” with your
tone.
You have to act just a little too serious and offended.
These little cues, along with a good sense of humor
and timing are the hints and triggers that make a
woman instantly switch into “Oh, this is play” mode,
instead of behaving as if you’re a loser who has no
imagination.
There are some other key benefits, as you mentioned
above, as well when you’re using this approach.
One is that you don’t come across as nervous or intimidated.
The fact that you’re turning the tables around, having
fun, and acting like you’re something special sends
the message that you’re totally cool, calm, and comfortable
in your own skin… and, in fact, you’re SO comfortable
that you’re going to go immediately to “play” mode.
Another is that it gives you a “character role” to
play that is the OPPOSITE of being a WUSS. This is
handy, as most guys switch quickly into Wuss mode
when they start talking to an attractive woman.
Finally, it gives you all kinds of great ways to end
the interaction…
You can say:
“OK, well I’m not going to give you my number, but
you can write down your email for me, and maybe I’ll
get back to you sometime…” etc.
It even makes taking things to the next level easy
and charming, because you’re “resisting forward”.
A quick personal story:
I was at Hooters Restaurant yesterday afternoon with
a friend, and the waitress approached us to get our
order.
She walked over and said something like “Hi, can I
get you something to drink?” etc.
I pretended not to notice her, and kept talking to
my friend.
Then, as she finished asking the question, I turned
to her with a surprised and “fake offended” look on
my face, and said “Oh, that’s OK, I was just TALKING”
(as if she had interrupted me).
She opened her mouth with the “Oh, no you didn’t!
I can’t believe you just said that” look.
I shook my head at her.
Then my friend looked at her and said “Wow, you’re
very forward. Next thing she’s going to be asking
for your phone number”.
I shook my head at her again, and rolled my eyes.
We gave her the drink order, and she went away.
She came back a few minutes later to tell me that
my drink was going to be delayed, because they were
making some kind of change in the kitchen.
Of course, I threw up my hands in despair, rolled
my eyes at her, and shook my head (as if she was disappointing
me horribly).
She laughed and said “Hey, you’d better watch out,
I might have to ask you for your phone number”…
THAT FAST.
We had talked for a grand total of about a minute,
and she was already joking around about asking me
for my number.
Keep in mind, this is a HOOTERS waitress (and a cute
one, at that). She works in an environment where hundreds
of guys try to pick up on her, one after the other…
Now, as you can imagine, this kind of thing happens
all the time when I interact with waitresses, etc.
I’ve found that it’s no harder to get a waitress to
give you her email/number than it is to get any other
girl’s info, by the way.
What’s the secret?
Being playful, fun, different, Cocky & Funny, and
not acting like a Wuss who wants to call her 100 times
a day and tell her how pretty she is.
Now I’d like to address your question…
Here it is again:
“…SOMETIMES when I throw out a cocky+funny response,
they will say “Oh whatever!” or roll their eyes or
say you’re mean, get mad, or something like that and
walk away. This happens not often but on rare occasions.
These women are probably uptight anyways and not worth
getting know. When they say “whatever” or “You’re so
mean” and they’re laughing or smiling, and they still
keep talking to me, then I know it’s working. Also,
when you say something like: “…Oh quit lying, you
were just walking near me because you want me” and
they say “No, I dont want you” or “No I wasnt, I was
just doing _ _ _ _ _” in a semi-serious tone, how do
you respond to that to keep the cocky+funny going?
In other words, what do you do when they act as if
they ARENT picking you up?..”
What I’m about to tell you is sometimes hard for guys
to accept, so get ready.
SOME PEOPLE DON’T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.
No, really.
My guess is that something like 60%-80% of the population
just plain aren’t very interesting or fun to talk
to.
Some people are actually ARROGANT about their lack
of a sense of humor.
These are my personal favorites.
I remember meeting a girl at a bar a couple of years
ago.
I was in Hollywood, CA at a fancy bar, and she was
one of these “I’m a beautiful actress, and I know
it” types.
I was ordering a drink, and she bumped into me.
I turned and said “Don’t touch me!”
She just looked at me with a “You’re a jerk” look,
and leaned away from me.
I smiled at her, and said “It was a joke, it’s OK”
(with kind of a slightly sarcastic “you didn’t get
it” tone of voice).
She said something like “Well, it wasn’t funny. You
seem like an arrogant jerk”.
LOL!
I couldn’t help myself… I burst into laughter.
She, of course, got even more annoyed.
Now, most guys would have gotten all upset, thought
that they must have done something majorly wrong,
and tried to apologize and get the woman to like them.
I immediately recognized this girl as a person who
just plain doesn’t have a sharp sense of humor, and
who is probably a HUGE pain in the ass to deal with
in real life, and laughed at her.
You’ll notice that a lot of guys write in to the Mailbags
with questions like “I’m dating four women right now,
and they’re all wonderful, but there’s this ONE girl
that I just can’t get… how do I make the one that
isn’t interested LIKE me?”
This is a curious thing.
We humans always want the approval of the person who
doesn’t want to give it to us.
Instead of just walking away and saying “your loss”,
we often chase after them, begging and pleading for
their approval… and thinking that we must have done
something wrong.
Remember, some people actually ENJOY making other
people feel bad. Some women actually ENJOY rejecting
men. It gives them a feeling of power.
There are MANY women who will spend all week shopping,
two hours putting on their clothing and makeup (and
doing their hair), just to go out and get attention
from men… so they can reject those men, and complain
to their friends about what “losers” and “pigs” men
are, and how they hate it when men look at them like
a “piece of meat”.
Go figure.
Let me give you a little “tough love”.
Part of growing up, becoming a REAL MAN, and getting
this area of your life handled is realizing that not
all women are nice people, and not letting those that
aren’t nice AFFECT YOU.
You can reach a point in your life where your attitude
become “I do not give anyone permission to take my
joy, happiness, and good mood from me”.
When you get to this point, then IT DOESN’T MATTER
if a woman doesn’t respond positively to your approach.
It doesn’t matter if she rejects you.
It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t have a sense of humor.
None of this matters when you don’t give anyone permission
to TAKE YOUR JOY FROM YOU.
My advice: Learn to walk away. Learn to blow it off.
Learn how to IMMEDIATELY disconnect and detach from
these types of situations, and NOT let them affect
you.
The “numbers game” goes both ways.
If you start meeting a lot of women, you will, by
nature of meeting a LOT of women, meet quite a few
that don’t have a sense of humor, aren’t friendly,
aren’t available, etc.
You need to learn the skill of keeping your power
and joy for yourself, and NEVER giving it to someone
you don’t even know.
Make a decision right now that your joy is your own,
and that you’ll never allow another person to take
it from you.
Dude, someone give me a hug.
How To Kiss A Woman
Apr 11 2005
this one is included for it’s humor
QUESTION
First of all, lets get things straight. I don’t like
you. In fact, I hate you. Your success with women
disgusts me, and the way you have it down to a science
so well that you even make ME laugh sometimes with
your smartassed comments to the lamers who write you
vexes me. But it intrigues me as well. Your stuff
works. So I use it. Doesn’t mean I like you. Just
means I like your “tools.”
Anyway, the problem I’m having lately is I meet and
flirt with a lot of women using c&f, but when it
comes time for things to get a little physical, they
tell me they’re waiting for marriage to do all that!
WtF?! Is there a way around this kind of a “defense”
that women use on me oh so often? (Besides dumping
their celibate asses.)
Name: D
Location: Bufffalo, New York.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, this is just a guess, but maybe your challenges
with women stem from the dark cloud around your SOUL!
…ahem.
Dude, I can tell that you’re attempting to be funny
here, but it also sounds to me like you’ve got some
anger issues that might need professional attention.
By the way, the way to “get around” the “I’m waiting
for marriage” defense is to stop acting like a bitter
WUSSY.
If women consistently tell you “I’m waiting for marriage
before I get physical”, it can only mean one of two
things:
1) You’re shopping for women at the convent.
2) You’re CAUSING the resistance you’re getting.
Most guys don’t realize this, but THEY are the ones
who cause women to resist and make excuses.
Really.
And by the way, don’t EVER say that you don’t like
me, but you like my TOOL again. That’s not cool.
QUESTION
Dave- you da man! I just had a great experience
that I feel merits an email to you. There’s a very
upscale restaurant/bar at which you can even buy
cigars from their humidor. There’s a piano player
that plays jazzy tunes, and the place is pretty expensive,
quiet, with the aura of big money patrons. (I love
cigars and jazz, which is why I wanted to go there
so badly.)
So, as I’ve always wanted to go there, and I finally
mustered the courage to put on my best suit and tie
(complete with cufflinks), so I’d look the part, despite
the fact that I’m not rich like the other patrons.
The women there are usually in groups, and they wreak
of old money.
I sat alone and nursed a martini for about 30 minutes,
while I scoped out the babes. I zeroed in on a tall,
stunningly gorgeous blond. (I have a weakness for tall
blonds.) I used the “Can I borrow her for a minute?”
trick, and it worked like a charm! Then I teased her
for having friends who would just let her go off with
a total stranger. Then I mixed a lot of listening with
a bit of c/f once she joined me at my table.
She told me she was hungry, so I told her I was getting
hungry, too, and that I was about to become nasty
if I didn’t get something to eat soon. Then I said,
“You’re not very attractive, but since I do happen
to like that dress on you, I’ll be a sport and let
you buy me dinner just this once.” I couldn’t believe
I said that!!! I was a little scared that she’d
get pissed off and leave.
She ended up buying me an expensive dinner!!! Plus
I got her phone number and email. I told her I do
a lot of traveling (which I don’t), but that I’d try
to remember to call her next time I was in town. She
then asked me for my number and email!
I am still in shock. This girl looks like a supermodel,
plus she’s rich! I really want to call her or email
her, but I’m deliberately waiting, in order to give
her the gift of missing me. And though it’s only
been a day since it happened, I still think she’ll
contact me first. Should I wait for her to contact
me or should I contact her?
J
>>>MY COMMENTS:
lol… you’re cracking me up over here.
While I don’t recommend lying to women, I still find
your story pretty funny.
Thanks for the story, and for affirming that these
concepts we’re talking about appeal universally to
women… rich and poor alike.
SUCCESS STORY
David,
Your book and newsletters are great and I TRULY appreciate
them, so I won
COMMENT
Hi Dave,
First off, not to sound like everyone else, but your
stuff rocks!!! With that being said I’d like to offer
a comment on J.M. from New Hampshire’s predicament.
J.M. said “What’s the best way to deal with a girl
coming out and saying “oh, you’re so cute/funny/etc…”?
Should I ignore it and keep the c/f going? Should
I address it in a cocky way?”
A couple of my favorite lines to use:
She: Your so cute.
Me: If you want cute buy a puppy.
She: Your so funny.
Me: Yeah, but looks aren’t everything.
It works great to down play her comments. Make fun
of yourself, but don’t draw too much attention. Act
disinterested in her comments and move on with the
conversation. Let’s her know you really are comfortable
in your skin and she should really be closer to
that skin!!
Hittin Heavy in Iowa, (with no sheep, LOL)
S.W.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Man, I don’t even like sheep JOKES anymore.
You know, what I’m wondering is why they sell those
blow-up sheep DOLLS in the adult stores. What’s the
deal? Are they for guys that don’t even have enough
game to pick up a SHEEP?
OK, whatever.
These are great comebacks.
I personally don’t use very much humor that makes
fun of myself early on… but your stuff is great.
Thanks for the comments.
QUESTION
Whats wrong with this letter. She works at Burger
King and I handed it to her. She didnt talk to me
anymore.
[The Letter]:
C,
I like you!
You have an electrifying gracious attitude at Burger
King. You are leaving soon so lets chat on the phone.
Don’t judge me by my lack of conversation at the
restaurant. I get a mental block at times. Let me
know if your interested. OK…
Thank you
>>>MY COMMENTS:
What’s wrong with this letter?
Well, other than the fact that it’s the worst thing
I’ve ever seen, nothing really.
“You have an electrifying and gracious attitude at
Burger King…”?!
Say what?
Dude, why didn’t you just say “I am a stalker, and
every night when I go to sleep I can see you flipping
Whoppers”?
QUESTION
Hey David,
I love reading your newsletters every time you mail
them out, and I am going to buy your e-book as soon
as I get back from my vacation in New York. While
I’m out there though, I’d like to know one thing.
I like the newsletters you mail out that deal with
getting a girls number for the first time. But I
can’t get myself to get started even to that point.
Yes, I know I’m really afraid of rejection and that
makes me make up excuses as to why I won’t come up
to a girl.
I completely feel the way you say that I should come
up to a girl, talk to her for a minute, then say something
like “I have to get back to work now,” leave and then
turn back and say “Hey, do you have e-mail?” But my
question is this: How do I get a girls attention to
begin with? In other words, what do I say to her
so that she will want to talk to me for that minute
you talk about? I don’t feel like saying “Excuse me,
Hi… my name is …, do you work around here?” would
be the best solution for this. Do you?
Thanks for the newsletters because they are slowly
but surely making me grow some balls enough to get
up and go talk to a girl!
CAT, San Francisco, CA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, it’s funny…
You’re asking a question that every guy in the world
wants to know the answer to.
It’s a simple answer… and it’s a DAMN complex answer
at the same time.
One of the KEYS to approaching women you don’t know
is being able to do it as comfortably and naturally
as you call your mom.
If you get nervous, shaky, and freaked out the woman
will pick up on this… and it will make HER nervous.
You can walk up to a woman and say “Hi, I don’t have
time to talk, but if you’re single I’d really like
to talk to you sometime… do you have email?”…
and if you do it in a calm, comfortable way you can
get a HIGH percentage of women to give you their info
right there on the spot with no conversation needed.
On the other hand, if you’re freaked out, nervous,
and acting like you’re all jacked up on speed while
driving a getaway car, it doesn’t matter WHAT you
say.
Experts estimate that approximately 7% of your communication
is the words you use, and 93% is your voice tone and
body language.
In other words, the WORDS aren’t very important at
all.
So how do you get the voice tone and body language
under control… and more importantly, your EMOTIONS?
Well, this is a simple and complex problem as well.
I have personally found that understanding exactly
how and why women feel sexual attraction for men
has changed the way I interact with women DRAMATICALLY.
If you DON’T understand this important process, you’re
just going to be “faking” it. If you DO understand
it, you’re going to be COMMUNICATING differently,
and communicating with a different PART of the woman.
[ 编辑者 gogatsu 于日期 13Apr05 ]
QUESTION
David,
I’ve got to say that your emails have been a great
help and your CD series is unstoppable! In both your
emails and CD’s you mention movie characters to study
and model yourself after. Could write up a list of
movies that you think are worth watching for the Cocky
& Funny attitude.
Thanks Dave.
B. D.
Chicago
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Some of my favorite scenes:
-Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom… the after-dinner
scene when they’re in the bedroom.
-Top Gun… when he follows her into the bathroom.
-The newest James Bond flick… basically everything.
-Gone With The Wind… the scene right after Scarlet
and Ashley are alone in that library type room toward
the beginning… when she throws the vase and then
Rhett Butler stands up from behind the couch and starts
chatting with her.
-Also, listen to how Howard Stern and David Letterman
mess with people CONSTANTLY. Great stuff.
QUESTION
Dear David,
Amazing job with your e-book “Double your Dating”,
I finally understand why most of the girls I’ve been
with left me after less than a month. I had the natural
humor, but it was mostly meant for goofing off instead
of being cocky.
My question is about kissing. From my dates, in the
second or third date, I would kiss the girl using
your tips (e.g. the hair) but I am not really sure
I am getting a good job into kissing a girl. Its
not like I can leave a comment box after the date
wow…
thx…you…always contribute a lot to salon…
a big flower should be given to you
楼主好细心啊。。。多谢楼主！
as i’ve said before… at least one guy is getting benefit from all of these tips…
so, i’ll say thanx 2 u on behalf of him~
yay. finally someone said something!
did it help him with his dates?
“Strange But True: Sex-Crazed Woman Attacks Man”
Apr 16 2005
Hi David!
Dude… you have saved my life! I used 2 b the king of all Wusses. A supplicating, gift-buying, emotional douche-rag! I shudder in disgust at the way I was.
My success story is bittersweet. First bitter, cuz I met this absolute 10, a gorgeous Indian artist chick. very talented and super sharp. I was doing all the right things by accident and ended up spending the night at her house, then I ruined everything by telling her how close I felt to her - like I’d known her for years, etc,etc. BOOOORING!! Needless 2 say, I haven’t heard from her since. After banging my head against the wall repeatedly, I got fed up and bought your DVD set. I must be a quick learner cuz 1 month later I am pulling some maneuvers that would make you smile.
For instance a few nights ago, I meet this girl at a club ,def a 9, who made C+F soo easy with these horrible shoes she was wearing. Red with white polka dots (ugh!) She started the convo with me by asking for a light. So I fire her up and we make small talk. The whole time I am avoiding looking at her face, giving the most dubious expression at her feet and she finally catches on. “What’s wrong?” That’s when I drop this, “Did you lose a bet with someone?” She looks perplexed and sks “Why?” “Cuz I can’t think of any other reason that you would leave the house looking like this.” Shellshocked xpression. “Seriously… were you smoking crack when you bought those shoes?” It was truly bizarre to watch her reaction change from utter shock to uncontrollable laughter! I kept it goin all night and she was L-L-Loving it. Finally, I just left her there without saying goodbye! She literally chased me all the way to the exit to get my digits and invite me to her house for dinner. So last night we got together to dine & wine etc. and she is complaining cuz her back hurts.
Then I did something that might seem wussy to you, but it worked like a charm. I gave her a backrub in the kitchen - she gets into it and asks, “Should I lay down?” I’m, like, “Sure, whatever”. I start to dig in and she asks if she should take her top off. Again I’m like “Whatever” So I go to town and proceed
to knock her socks offf (My massages are lethal!) I was driving her crazy with my hot breath on her neck while I rubbed her down. Her breathing got heavy, she started writhing and I knew what she wanted. So you know what I did? I got up and said, “Holy Sh**
look at the time! I really gotta run. It’s been great… Bye!” She got this crazed look on her face and was like “Oh no you don’t!?” and straight up ATTACKED me! I have to say it was the first time in my life that I’ve ever been raped by a woman. And I owe at all to you! Will someone please give this man a Nobel Peace Prize???
A trillion Thank You’s! You are the MACK of mackdaddies!
JJ from Brooklyn, NY [where people who tell dumb sheep jokes get beat down]
[ 编辑者 gogatsu 于日期 17Apr05 ]
You wove a wonderful story, and used Cocky & Funny perfectly with her. You created suspense, made her ask you what you were talking about, set her up… it was all great.
And great job walking away from her without saying “bye” and without trying to get her to go out with you.
This kind of thing shows a woman that you’re not just another needy Wuss Bag who is just secretly trying to get her number… and that you have some self control.
I DO NOT think that giving a massage to a woman is a “Wuss” thing to do.
On the contrary, I do recommend it in some situations… like the one you used it in!
And you did EXACTLY the right thing, by being totally cool and laid-back about it… and then dialing things up slowly, and taking two steps forward and one step back… perfect.
There is a way to give a massage that DOES NOT say to the woman “I just couldn’t wait to get my perverted hands on you… I haven’t touched a woman in years”.
And you now understand it.
this is specially for the boys >>>>>
“…
One of the most valuable things I got out of the Cocky Comedy is… it’s not what you say, but how you say it… You are awesome at enunciating, pausing for effect… I really concentrated on slowing down how fast I talk, not saying um or uh, and really enunciating my words… As well as giving dramatic pauses.
…”
QUESTION
Dave
i have a question concerning
gift ideas for those involved in relationships. i am
desperate for gift ideas for my girlfriend that i’ve
been dating for 7 months now. of course, there are
also other times that couples should exchange gifts:
birthdays, valentine’s day, and the BIG ONE… the
one year anniversary! i desperately need help with
these as well. what have u gotten your long-term girlfriends
for Christmas? their birthday? on valentine’s day?
the one year anniversary? i’m the type of guy who
just HATES to spend a ton of money but i want to make
everything perfect for this girl because we love each
other so any ideas on gifts would be greatly appreciated.
thanks a million and keep up the good work!
-R.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
If you want to give her a nice gift that doesn’t cost
a lot of money, cook her a meal, then give her a massage,
and finally wrap up with feeding her fruit in bed…
etc.
Women want things that communicate THOUGHTFULNESS.
Not that they don’t enjoy diamonds… lol. But if
you do something that says “I was thinking about you,
and I wanted you to have a great experience” it will
make FAR more of an impact than an expensive gift
that wasn’t chosen with care.
But as I mentioned, don’t OVERDO the gifts and favors…
don’t ever become PREDICTABLE.
And, interestingly enough, this can be a great test
to see how a woman can handle extra-nice treatment.
If she starts acting overly demanding and spoiled
after you give her a gift of thoughtful experience,
then you might have a damaged woman on your hands.
Pay attention.
OK, that’s it for my non-relationship relationship
ideas.
How To Approach Women, Start Conversations
Apr 18 2005
QUESTION
Dave, ive been receiving your newsletters for sometime
now and have to say a lot of the stuff I read is very
useful. Now you need to help me please !!! Im having
real trouble with the whole (spur of the moment) thing.
By the time I think of a good thing to say in that
particular situation, the moments passed. Here come
the examples. About a week ago I was at a club which
was quite packed, now im just standing there when I
feel someone grab me round the waist, I turn around
to see a stunning brunette standing behind me smiling,
and what did I say to her, absolutely nothing !!!
Now this is the one im really kicking myself about.
Yesterday I went my barbers only to see that a new
girl had started. Stunning blond about 17, you know
the type. Anyway, first I caught here looking at me
more than a fiew times, then we exchanged a fiew smiles.
There was quite a long wait to be seen, then the next
thing I know she brings me a coffee with a sexy smile,
non of the other 10 lads who were in there waiting
get one and they all looked quite surprised. I kept
on thinking to myself, “im gonna ask her out in a
minute” the next thing I know ive been done and walking
out having not said a word.
I guess your now gonna tell me I need a good hard
slap and my head seeing to … lol But what I need
to know is, is it to late to phone up and ask her
out, and if I did could I use any of the things that
happened, to my advantage using the C&F routine ???
Thanks in advance, keep up the good work !!!
P
uk
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I have to be honest with you.
You are a dork.
But the good news is that you’re not alone. I have
been in the situations you just mentioned a bazillion
times in my past, and I missed probably hundreds of
opportunities.
So this dork virus that you have isn’t terminal.
Here’s exactly what to do next time these things
happen:
Say “Hey, what’s your name?”
Then, after they give it to you, say “Do you have
email?”
…and if the answer is “Yes”, then give her a pen
and have her write it down!
It’s that easy.